Oh, the bittersweet journey of letting go! From the days of changing diapers to the excitement of diplomas, we invest every ounce of ourselves into our kids. We soothe their scrapes, read them heartwarming stories like “Love You Forever” and “Oh, The Places You’ll Go!” We cheer at band concerts, attend scouting events, and navigate parent-teacher meetings. We work hard to instill values and shape their character.
We celebrate their quirks and achievements, sharing laughter and tears, sometimes even shedding tears on their behalf. We brave sleepless nights, craft projects that defy reason, swimming lessons, and curfews that are meant to be broken. We do our utmost to keep them safe, holding their little hands and teaching them the importance of looking both ways before crossing the street.
And then, just like that, they grow up. They start to spread their wings. And we have to do the same.
Below is the note I placed on my daughter’s pillow as she moved into her dorm for her freshman year—a day when I clutched my partner’s hand and almost stumbled across the parking lot. It was the day I made the decision to let her venture into adulthood, a day filled with pride and heartache all at once. This letter encapsulated sentiments I couldn’t articulate aloud, but felt were essential to convey. Even nearly two years later, reading it brings a tear to my eye. Those emotions are woven into our story—her journey, my journey, our lives.
What might my words mean to you? They’re testament that you will, indeed, navigate this journey. There may be moments of heartache. You might encounter some rough patches. But there will also be immense joy in witnessing the growth—both yours and your child’s—during this freshman year.
Dear Lily,
As you embark on your adventure at Brookhaven this week, I find myself grappling with a whirlwind of emotions. I know you’re ready and excited to leap into this new chapter. I truly want you to embrace your college years and evolve into the incredible woman you are destined to be. Yet, a part of me—the ever-anxious, motherly part—wants to keep you close, holding on tight. I understand this isn’t the most rational feeling, but it’s genuine. Always remember that you are deeply loved, and my only wish is for your happiness. This is why I must let you go, even as my instincts scream to hold onto the little girl I’m scared to lose.
I can only imagine the adventures that await you. But if there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that your future will be anything but ordinary. Whether it’s through your upbringing, innate abilities, or sheer determination, you have a knack for resilience and carving your own path. Your open-mindedness and compassion will serve you well.
So go on! Live life to the fullest. Meet new people and embrace fresh ideas. Remember that it’s a privilege to have this experience—make the most of it. Utilize the resources and freedoms that come with this phase of life. Study hard. Play hard. Work hard. College is about so much more than just hitting the books.
As you journey forth, please stay humble and grateful. Not everyone gets to experience this, so cherish every moment—even the cranky professors and the communal bathrooms. You’ll learn something valuable from every experience, both good and bad. A thankful heart leads to graciousness.
Immerse yourself in your new surroundings, but don’t forget about me! Call home every once in a while to share what’s happening in your world. I might not be shocked by what you tell me; after all, I’ve likely been there, done that. I might even have some pearls of wisdom to share, if you’re open to them. Despite my “dinosaur” status, I was once your age—full of energy, curiosity, and excitement. I remember the mixed emotions, the stress, and the laughter. Don’t forget to have fun.
No one loves you more than I do. No one wishes for your success more than I do. I will always be your biggest supporter, but your future is ultimately in your hands.
For now, I will do my best to let you soar.
Love,
Mom
This heartfelt message was inspired by the book “Out to Sea: A Parents’ Survival Guide to the Freshman Voyage.”
Summary
As your child transitions into college, it’s a time of mixed emotions for parents. This letter captures the essence of love and support while encouraging independence. Cherishing moments and embracing growth during this journey is essential for both parent and child.