I call it a veil because that’s exactly how it feels to me. While it’s not all a façade, there’s this delicate, beautifying filter cloaking our genuine life experiences.
These days, my mornings usually begin with me sleepily sipping coffee around 7 a.m., waking my three kids to remind them that it’s a school day and nudging them to start their morning routines. I typically find my way to the kitchen table, pull out my laptop, and in less than 10 minutes, I’m scrolling through Facebook.
“What’s on your mind?” it prompts me every morning. Well, thanks for asking, Facebook. Before I know it, I’m posting some sweet or inspirational quote from Pinterest, sharing a snapshot of our family’s latest escapade, or buzzing with excitement about our soon-to-arrive baby Parker. And of course, let’s not forget the obligatory selfie! I usually save that gem for about once a week — just in case my friends and family have somehow forgotten what I look like.
The new “memories” feature is often a fun trip down memory lane, and I’ll share a picture of my kids from a few years back, reminiscing about how adorable they were while wishing time would slow down. “They are so perfect!” I might gush, along with my go-to hashtag, #blessed.
A couple of days ago, curiosity got the better of me, and I logged out of my Facebook account to see how it looked from the outside. Wow! What a perfect family we seem to be! Seriously, we look so shiny and unbelievably happy in every post.
I don’t intentionally try to deceive the world with my posts. Honestly, I just prefer to avoid negativity and keep things positive on social media. However, it’s crucial to remember there’s much more beneath the surface than what we see — what we all see while sipping our morning coffee and, often, subconsciously comparing ourselves to those seemingly perfect families.
I can’t shake the image of my Facebook account from an outsider’s perspective, so here’s my attempt to get real with you.
That selfie? It was taken three weeks ago after a rare good night’s sleep when my eyes weren’t puffy. Now, in my third trimester, I’m lucky to sleep for more than two hours without jolting awake from a swift kick to the bladder or anxiety about delivery, or even the nagging thought of whether I remembered to switch over the laundry.
Right now, I’m still in the pajamas I’ve worn for three nights, and my hair is a greasy mess because morning sickness has returned with a vengeance. I just lost my cool with the kids for opening yet another box of cereal when three others are already on the verge of going stale. And the tab next to Facebook? It’s a Google search titled “normal vaginal discharge in pregnancy.” I’m so exhausted that I had to be particularly careful not to accidentally type that into my Facebook status instead of the search bar. The next tab over is our checking account, which always prompts a deep sigh as I squint at the screen — groceries, school picture fees, sports sign-ups, and that “babymoon” we’d love to take before the baby arrives. There never seems to be enough money, does there?
But you won’t see any of that because it would reveal that I’m not always the optimistic, health-conscious, yoga-loving, makeup-wearing, endlessly understanding mom I seem to portray.
I’m pretty sure the milk I put in my coffee this morning expired last week. And that cheerful family photo from our beach trip last week? That was just one lucky snap amid the chaos of Sister elbowing Brother, Brother rolling his eyes at the camera because he’s suddenly too cool for family pictures, and my husband and I bickering about spending money on pizza last night. Oh, and please, take another shot because you can totally see my double chin in that one. But hey, smile everyone!
As I said, it’s not all fake. I genuinely love my family and think we’re pretty awesome. I appreciate the ability to share photos on social media with relatives who live far away or who I don’t see every day. I enjoy posting inspirational quotes, hoping to brighten someone’s day amid the overwhelming political rants and other distressing news we encounter daily.
We must all remember that Facebook (and all social media, for that matter) showcases real life covered by a veil. The unattractive moments are filtered out, leaving only the best highlights of everyone’s lives. So, don’t fall into the trap of comparison while scrolling through your feed. We’re all dealing with puffy eyes and some strange Google searches at this very moment. (Seriously, don’t lie!) While we might not all grimace at our checking account balance, we all have our “stuff.”
For those looking for more information on home insemination, check out this excellent resource on donor insemination. And if you’re interested in the tools you can use, make sure to visit this site for a great selection.
In conclusion, Facebook may show us the highlights, but it’s essential to remember that everyone has their challenges behind the scenes. Let’s embrace our imperfect realities and support each other through the chaos of life.