My 4-year-old daughter, Mia, is convinced that she possesses all the wisdom of the universe, often outsmarting her parents in her own mind. Whether it’s her insistence that “purple” should be pronounced “purtle” or her views on the proper timing for sunset, her opinions are as vast as they are fierce. Just the other day, as we prepared for a neighborhood get-together, she exclaimed, “Why don’t you wear your black fancy thing?!”
With a smirk, I replied, “It’s 90 degrees, and that black ‘thing’ is a wool shawl. I’m sorry I can’t meet your royal standards, your highness.” Yes, I did a little bow.
Like all kids her age, Mia believes she has been around forever and knows everything. Combine that with her stubbornness, and I find myself tangled in ridiculous debates on a daily basis. Yet, I’ve become somewhat of a pro at navigating these impossible discussions. Here’s how you, too, can come out on top against an opinionated 4-year-old:
“Hey there, Mia. I get that you want to wear whatever strikes your fancy, but that outfit? Not going to work.”
“Yes, I know you feel like a princess. I appreciate your effort, but it’s the middle of summer, and those are leg warmers—paired with snow boots, no less.”
“True, they technically cover your legs, but it’s as hot as molten lava outside.”
“Remember that time we played ‘don’t touch the hot lava’ and turned the living room into a pillow obstacle course? Yes, it was a blast, but we can’t play that right now.”
“Because we’ll be late to the party if we get sidetracked! And honestly, that dress isn’t a dress anymore; you’ve grown, and it’s become more of a top.”
“I know it covers your bottom, but that doesn’t meet the definition of a dress.”
“Nope, it’s not. Seriously, it’s not a dress!”
At this point, I could feel my patience waning. “If you insist on wearing that shirt, you’ll need shorts. And let’s lose the leg warmers and boots.”
“Oh, you think you look like a superhero princess? Well, you’ll be a superhero princess of fire because your legs will scorch the moment you step outside!” (I chuckle nervously.)
“Oops, sorry for laughing! I promise I won’t do it again.”
“Okay, how about just some shorts, and you’ll need different shoes? Because shoes are a must.”
“Yes, always! Well, except at the beach. But we’re not going to the beach; we’re heading to a party. The beach is far away.”
“Yes, we’ll go sometime—maybe next Christmas! Now, can we get you in some shorts and find those shoes?”
I might have raised my voice out of sheer frustration, but hey, it was mutual insanity at this point. In the end, I think she wore the shorts, but the rest of that day is a bit hazy. Maybe we should just agree to let each other wear whatever we want, as long as we keep our bottoms covered.
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Summary
When faced with the strong opinions of a 4-year-old, it can feel like navigating a minefield of stubbornness and creativity. The key is to remain patient, offer reasonable suggestions, and sometimes just agree to disagree.