When my daughter, Lily, came into my life, it felt like I was re-reading a story I thought I knew. From day one, it was clear that we had a lot in common, and I couldn’t help but smile when I realized she shares my love for the color purple. I’ve passed on my strong will and my nose to her, while Lily blesses me with her quick wit that leaves me in stitches. Most days, it’s like I’m peering into a time capsule of my own teenage years, as parenting her feels like a nostalgic stroll through my past.
We’ve enjoyed my cherished childhood books, she loves to raid my closet for dress-up, and we’ve spent countless rainy afternoons hosting tea parties. But now that she’s on the brink of her teenage years, I’ve come to remember some critical truths about being a teenage girl that I had conveniently tucked away in the back of my mind. It turns out, she’s not all that different from the girl I was, sporting my oversized flannel shirts and side ponytails.
1. Teen girls really do take forever in the bathroom.
Back when I was twelve, I recall my siblings banging on the bathroom door, threatening to unleash their fury while I enjoyed my lengthy showers. They yelled as I deep conditioned my hair and doused it with hairspray. I had completely forgotten those bathroom standoffs until I caught my son, Max, sitting patiently outside the door with a book. When I asked what he was doing, he sighed and said, “I stopped knocking ten minutes ago. She’ll be out soon.” Oh, how I wish my brothers had been that patient!
2. Teen girls need mom to teach them the art of shaving.
After years of managing my own leg hair, I totally overlooked the fact that not slicing your skin while shaving is a skill that must be learned. Recently, I noticed Lily had some underarm hair and casually suggested she give shaving a try. Her eyes went wide as she gasped, “You mean with a razor? I can’t even use a knife by myself!” I was reminded of my own awkward attempts to shave while my mom guided me through the process to avoid any major mishaps.
3. Teen girls NEVER. STOP. TALKING.
As a teenager, I could chat with my friends for hours, and honestly, I can’t remember the specifics of those conversations, but they felt monumental at the time. I was such a talker that my parents installed another phone line just in case they needed to call for help! While I had my pink corded phone, Lily has FaceTime and spends hours talking to her pals about everything from the latest trends to outfit planning. She talks to me and my husband constantly, and I can almost hear my own mother chuckling from the past.
4. Teen girls are anxious about their periods.
I remember reading “Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret” and thinking that starting my period was the end of the world. I was terrified of bleeding, ruining my clothes, and, heaven forbid, boys finding out! Now, Lily is worried she’ll bleed to death when her time comes. Recently, she asked about tampons but thought they were tiny tents! We ended up in a confusing conversation that left her in tears until I sorted it all out. She was so relieved to learn she wouldn’t need to insert a miniature camping structure into her body.
5. Teen girls cry over the smallest things.
Seeing Lily tear up because her shoelaces are tangled brings back a flood of memories from my own teenage drama. The intensity of feeling everything so deeply, the tears, and the frustration over minor issues feels all too familiar. When the sobbing is paired with stomping up the stairs and slamming doors, I can’t help but think my mother truly deserved a medal.
I know these insights are just scratching the surface. I’m sure I’ll be reminded of all sorts of teenage experiences as Lily navigates her way through adolescence. I’m looking forward to reliving my first crush, the struggle of learning to drive, and a million other moments that had slipped my mind. Watching her grow into a remarkable young woman is exciting, and I can’t help but hope that we’ll become best friends. Just don’t tell her—I’m sure she’d roll her eyes!
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Summary: This article revisits the often-overlooked realities of raising a teenage girl, sharing amusing anecdotes and heartfelt reflections on the similarities between mothers and their daughters. It underscores the importance of patience, understanding, and the shared journey of navigating the complexities of adolescence.