Eleven years ago, I stumbled into the chaotic world of motherhood with naivety that would make anyone chuckle. I often felt like those seasoned moms were huddled nearby, whispering and exchanging knowing glances while I innocently navigated the new terrain. “Look at her,” they’d say, “She still believes in sleep!” or “Oh bless her heart, she thinks a few sit-ups will bring her abs back!” I entered this journey woefully underprepared, shocked to discover, among other things, that toddlers have a knack for following you into the bathroom. So, here’s a candid list of things “THEY” – those moms snickering in the background – never bothered to share before you embarked on this wild adventure.
This list is the result of countless toddler tantrums, misplaced school uniforms, endless car rides, and countless sleepless nights. These nuggets of wisdom can catch you off guard if you’re not aware.
1. Every Mother is a Rookie
No mother truly has it all figured out. Every single mom is just winging it, hoping for the best. If someone claims they have a foolproof plan, they’re likely fibbing. Exception: Mom Bloggers (wink).
2. Sleep Will Return, but Not Like Before
You will eventually sleep again, but it will never resemble the peaceful slumber of your pre-baby days. You’ll find yourself sleeping with one ear attuned to the sounds of the house, almost as if you have superhuman senses. You’ll know if your child is sleepwalking or if they need something in the night, even in the deepest of sleeps.
3. Sick Days? Forget About It!
When you sign up for motherhood, you unknowingly forfeit sick leave. You’ll be signing permission slips while battling a stomach bug and planning school events after dental work, all while your partner asks you to run errands when you can barely get off the couch. The truth is, your health takes a backseat.
4. Find Your Mom Tribe ASAP
The moment your little one arrives, seek out moms who won’t judge you. Hang out in the maternity ward if you need to, but find that one mom who’s real and relatable. If she confidently states she knows what she’s doing, run the other way. But if she admits, “Not a clue!” hold onto her tightly and bond over some wine. You’ll need that connection, especially on tough days.
5. Intimacy May Feel Like a Chore
At times, intimacy will blend into your never-ending to-do list. It might feel like you’re squeezing it in between tasks like “Create 25 Frozen-themed party favors” and “Unload the dishwasher.” Remember that those chores won’t go anywhere, but your relationship needs care and attention. So, if your mind wanders to those favors during intimate moments, it’s totally okay – we moms multitask, after all.
6. You Might Not Immediately Love Your Baby
When you bring your newborn home, be prepared for mixed feelings. You’ll love them, but those first few days can be overwhelming. The sudden disruption to your life can be frustrating. It’s normal to struggle with your new reality, and if you admit it, you’ll find a kindred spirit in me.
7. You Become an Expert Liar
Get ready to weave tales about Santa, the Tooth Fairy, and the Elf on the Shelf. You’ll create elaborate stories to explain how these figures operate, yet expect complete honesty from your kids. It’s a strange double standard, but you’ll soon become a pro at it.
8. Everything Can Be Dangerous
From BPA to organic foods, the opinions are endless. You’ll find yourself in a whirlwind of conflicting advice about what’s safe for your kids. Just do your best and remember, you know your family best. If others judge you for serving up mac and cheese with a side of sugary drink, let it roll off your back.
9. Your Wardrobe Will Transform
After childbirth, your fashion choices will shift dramatically. Comfort will take priority over style. Say goodbye to lacy lingerie and hello to sturdy, supportive undergarments. You’ll embrace yoga pants and elastic waistbands as your new best friends. Accept this new phase as a celebration of the amazing body that brought life into the world.
10. You’ll Be a Good Mom, Eventually
From the moment you meet your baby, you’ll start to navigate this new role. Mistakes will happen, and you may worry about the impact on your child. Just remember to do your best, and if your kids ever criticize your parenting, remind them they can raise their own kids however they wish one day. For now, own your role as “Mommy” with pride.
While this list isn’t exhaustive, it highlights key truths that many won’t share. I’m not here to mock you behind your back. Instead, I’ll pull you aside and say, “Let’s chat.” And yes, I’ll gladly pour you a generous glass of wine while we navigate this wild ride together.
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Summary
Motherhood is a rollercoaster of challenges and surprises, and many truths are often left unspoken. From the reality that no mom has it all figured out to the transformation of your wardrobe, this candid list reveals the unfiltered realities of motherhood. Embrace the chaos, seek your tribe, and remember, you’re doing better than you think.
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