Parenting
Kids Can Do Things on Their Own
By Jamie Parker
Updated: Aug. 24, 2023
Originally Published: Aug. 24, 2023
I wouldn’t consider myself an overbearing parent. I never meant to hover around my kids, rushing to their aid at the first hint of a stumble or a cry. However, having two young ones just a year apart turned me into a mom who was constantly on high alert, always monitoring their every move.
But that changed a couple of weeks ago.
My little ones are now 3 and 4 years old, and I’ve come to the realization that they are capable of doing quite a bit on their own. You might be thinking, “Well, that’s obvious,” but it took me reaching my limit to truly see their potential.
As an introvert and a stay-at-home mom, it can be a real challenge to find balance. There are days when I feel like I need to escape my home, pulling my hair out in frustration. The constant need for attention, little hands poking and prodding, and endless chatter about nothing can be overwhelming. They seem to need me for everything, from playing to resolving disputes, and the whining and screaming never seem to end.
I finally reached a breaking point where I was exhausted from being the referee and the perpetual playmate. One morning, while folding laundry, my son asked for a snack. I took a deep breath, squared my shoulders, and said, “You can get it yourself.”
His surprise quickly turned into joy, and he dashed off to the fridge. That simple moment of independence opened the door to many more.
I started encouraging my kids to take on more tasks independently. I handed my daughter the ingredients to make her own peanut butter sandwich, and nothing disastrous happened. She loved the new responsibility and even cleaned up afterward.
When I’m specific about what clothes to wear, my son can dress himself. I don’t even mind if he puts his shirt on backward; it gives me a moment to focus on my own tasks without interruptions.
It turns out kids can entertain themselves if you give them a little space. I’m not abandoning them; instead, I’m teaching them that sometimes they need to figure things out on their own. They’re now capable of finding lost toys and getting their own snacks.
I’ve also stepped back from being the constant mediator in their arguments. I make sure everyone is safe and intervene if things escalate, but I no longer jump in at the first sign of conflict.
As much as my kids are my world, they can’t be the center of my universe every minute of the day. They need to learn how to entertain themselves.
What started as a necessary step for my own sanity transformed into something much more significant. Instead of being their cruise director of fun, I’m now their mom — someone dedicated to raising independent, strong individuals who don’t see themselves as victims. It wasn’t always easy, but by allowing them to take on responsibilities, I created a more harmonious environment at home.
This article was originally published on Aug. 24, 2023.
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In summary, I learned that my kids are capable of much more than I realized. By stepping back, I’ve empowered them to be independent, which has created a more peaceful home environment. It’s a win-win for both of us.