My marriage isn’t as picture-perfect as it seems.
After seven years and two kids, social media has convinced me of this. Love declarations are constantly flooding my feed: “You’re my everything, my sweet darling!” or “Our love grows stronger every day!” Sometimes, I click “like” on these posts with a twinge of jealousy. Other times, I raise an eyebrow, thinking, “Didn’t she just share that she’s looking into divorce lawyers?” And let’s be honest, there are days when I wouldn’t shout those love-filled phrases from the rooftops, and I doubt my partner would either.
Is it just us? Surely, we can’t be the only couple facing challenges, struggling to communicate through the chaos, and sometimes going to bed angry despite knowing we shouldn’t. But social media makes it seem like everyone else has it all figured out.
Recently, a friend shared a thought that resonated with me: “You know everything about your own life, but on social media, you’re only sharing the best 5%: your child’s first steps, that amazing vacation, or your graduation. That’s what everyone else sees. It’s interesting to keep up with those highlights, but it can be disheartening because we end up comparing our entire lives to that tiny fraction of perfection.”
When the #LoveYourPartner challenge started trending, I watched with a mix of curiosity and dread. Just look at all those radiant couples! Everyone’s life appears flawless, their relationships seem effortless, while I’m stuck in a fight over something trivial with my partner.
I’m not against these chain challenges (I even participated in the Ice Bucket Challenge), but let’s be honest for a moment. These social media trends are getting out of hand, and I can’t participate in the way many expect. We have the beautiful wedding photos and those cheerful selfies, but I’d need to share more than just our best moments because, in reality, that’s not how our marriage often looks.
So, here’s what a week of the Love Your Partner Challenge might really look like:
Day 1 of the Love Your Partner Challenge – Jessica Lane
We argue sometimes — okay, often. It could be about finances, parenting styles, or even something silly like laundry. Whatever the topic, can we just agree to drop it for today? Today, I nominate any couple who’s had a disagreement this month to take part in the challenge.
Day 2 of the Love Your Partner Challenge – Jessica Lane
We’re lost again and running late, which is all my fault because I can’t navigate even with GPS. And of course, one child is teetering on the edge of sleep while the other is screaming their head off. Today, I nominate any couple that needs a getaway drive just to escape the house.
Day 3 of the Love Your Partner Challenge – Jessica Lane
Can I just get a moment to enjoy a glass of wine? Nope? Well, maybe I can squeeze in a sip between those snacks. Today, I nominate anyone whose partner insists on giving a thumbs-up in every selfie.
Day 4 of the Love Your Partner Challenge – Jessica Lane
It’s 3 a.m., and I hear a baby crying. You can only pretend to be asleep for so long — time to play “Whose Turn Is It?” No, really, whose turn is it? I nominate anyone who’s ever wished their partner could magically share the nighttime feedings.
Day 5 of the Love Your Partner Challenge – Jessica Lane
Don’t worry, my partner is in the frame. That’s him on the phone, letting me know he’s stuck in traffic and will be home at who-knows-what-time. Today, I nominate anyone familiar with the term “occasional single-married parent.”
Day 6 of the Love Your Partner Challenge – Jessica Lane
Our toddler is about to tumble down the stairs, and one of us needs to save him from disaster. The pasta is boiling over, and someone has to prevent a kitchen catastrophe. We are ships passing in the night. Today, I nominate any couple who has tried to high-five while racing past each other in the chaos.
Day 7 of the Love Your Partner Challenge – Jessica Lane
Finally, the kids are asleep, and it’s supposed to be our time. You know what’s really sexy? Sleep. It’s day seven: let’s just rest. Today, I nominate any couple who has taken “Netflix and Chill” literally.
While the #LoveYourPartner challenge encourages celebrating love and promoting marriage, which is a beautiful idea, I wanted to highlight a reality check: Marriage isn’t just a fairytale. It requires effort, commitment, and daily choices, not just a magical wedding day. It’s a collection of clichés that hold true because they reflect the reality of our lives.
So, maybe it’s just me, but I know that this is the truth of marriage.
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Summary:
This article reflects on the reality of marriage, contrasting the idealized versions often portrayed on social media with the everyday challenges couples face. The author shares humorous takes on common marital struggles, emphasizing that while love is worth celebrating, the truth of marriage involves hard work and commitment.