Before I became a mother to two wonderful kids, I wouldn’t classify myself as an extreme girly girl, but I did enjoy my makeup, dressing up, and wearing accessories. Now, I feel like I might need a crash course on makeup application after my boys grow up. It’s as if I’ve forgotten everything. Just the other night, after putting the kids to bed, I cracked open a beer, sank into the couch, and found myself watching reruns of Breaking Bad. At that moment, I didn’t feel particularly feminine—when did I start to resemble my husband?
While I might be generalizing, my observations stem from my experience with my partner, who embodies many traditional masculine traits. Reflecting on the following points, it’s clear I need to reconnect with my feminine side before my boys reach their teenage years and the house becomes fully laden with testosterone.
1. I Can Get Ready in No Time
I used to envy my husband’s efficiency in getting ready for the day. It would take me over an hour to shower, style my hair, apply makeup, and choose an outfit. In contrast, he could shower in three minutes and be dressed within five. After becoming a mom, I discovered his secret: not caring as much. I now have seven minutes for a shower and a quick application of powder and mascara, often throwing my hair back for convenience. My outfit choices now hinge on one key factor: the state of my leg hair. I’ve become the one waiting in the car for my partner to finish getting ready. It’s frustrating!
2. I’m Comfortable with Public Exposure
While I struggled to breastfeed my first son, I was able to nurse my second successfully. The first time I nursed in public, I felt vulnerable and exposed. However, when a baby is screaming, the discomfort fades quickly. It’s incredible how perspective shifts in such situations. Ironically, I tend to wear the least breastfeeding-friendly tops at the most public moments, feeling exposed until I see other dads proudly displaying their chests.
3. I Rely on My ‘Wife’ for Cooking
I affectionately call my slow cooker my “wife.” When I do cook, it’s often just assembling meals rather than preparing them intricately. I’ve even started improvising recipes based on what’s available in the fridge. If a dish turns out poorly, I’ll claim it as a failed attempt from an online recipe. When a meal is a success, I boast about it as if I’ve catered a grand event, fishing for compliments while ensuring I don’t set a precedent for gourmet dinners.
4. I’ve Swapped Foreplay for ‘After Sleep’
With a four-year-old who mysteriously appears in our bed throughout the night, the romantic aspect of our relationship has shifted. It’s now all about seizing the moment when our kids are asleep. The baby just started sleeping through the night, and right now, nothing seems more appealing than the simplicity of post-sleep moments—sans cuddling, as I tend to get too hot.
5. I’ve Grown Comfortable with Gross Tasks
During my first son’s infancy, I found it endearing to let him crawl without a diaper—until he pooped on the carpet. I instinctively caught it with my hands! My husband was horrified, but surprisingly, I felt unfazed. I’ve since done some truly unappealing tasks, from cleaning up boogers to dealing with messes that I’d rather not recount. Things are stickier and messier than I ever anticipated.
6. I’ve Adopted the Smell Test
Before kids, I took pride in doing our laundry. However, after having two children, I find myself rummaging through the laundry hamper, contemplating whether certain clothes can make it through another wear. When faced with an overwhelming amount of laundry, I often resort to the “smell test,” justifying re-wearing items that I once thought were unacceptable.
7. My Listening Skills Have Deteriorated
I used to pride myself on being an attentive listener, but now, with one child asking the same question repeatedly and interruptions from the other, my focus has waned. I’ve found myself adopting my husband’s technique of responding with “right” at inappropriate moments. My son, at age four, frequently reminds me that he isn’t finished speaking.
Am I stereotyping? Perhaps a little. But maybe it’s not so bad to find common ground with my partner. He has turned out to be a more nurturing figure than I ever expected, while my newfound acceptance of the messier aspects of life has been enlightening. Our white carpet has certainly benefitted from this transformation.
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Summary
Motherhood has led to numerous changes in my lifestyle and habits, making me more akin to my husband in various ways. From my quick morning routines and comfort with public exposure to the acceptance of messy situations and a decline in my listening skills, these adaptations highlight the profound impact of parenting. While I may have adopted some stereotypical traits, this journey has allowed me to embrace new aspects of myself and my partnership.