It was a bright September morning, and my youngest daughter, Lily, was thrilled. She had a special outing planned with her dad, just the two of them. With her siblings still asleep, we enjoyed the warm sunshine on the front porch as we waited for him to arrive. He was taking her to help a friend move—someone she really liked named Sarah, who had children of her own. Lily had fond memories of a birthday party they had attended recently, and her excitement was palpable.
At just 8 years old, her sparkling blue eyes shone brighter than her golden summer tan. I often wondered how children could tan so beautifully—my older teens often lamented their fading summer glow. The start of the school year had been rocky, as our small town in Upstate New York had experienced a historic flood. The excitement of navigating flooded streets had left many kids bored with school cancellations, and Lily was eager to get out and have some fun.
When her dad pulled up, a quick honk and a wave sent her racing to the car after a quick hug and kiss. She was eager to have him all to herself, especially after the tough times we had faced in the past few years. Ever since I had made the difficult decision to separate, our lives had been complicated. He had struggled to put down the beer long enough to be a responsible dad, and it left me no choice but to take action. The girls were left to make do with my limited outings to the pool or local store, but thankfully, he lived just a few blocks away.
As I waved goodbye, I felt a twinge of relief knowing it was still morning and he hadn’t had the time to drink yet. A child services worker had advised me to never let them go with him if I detected alcohol, but I couldn’t completely prevent their visits. I felt a bit more at ease that day, as Lily had even mentioned she was praying for a perfect day.
However, my world shattered about 45 minutes later when the phone rang. A first responder was on the line, informing me there had been an accident. My heart sank as she explained that Lily was okay, but her father had lost control of the car and crashed into a ditch. He was being charged with DWI and had a blood alcohol level of 0.12—almost double the legal limit.
The drive to the accident scene felt interminable. Each turn of the wheels twisted my anger tighter. I could hardly fathom what I would say or how I would even react. As I arrived, the sight of flashing lights confirmed my worst fears. There are simply no words to express the dread that filled my chest upon seeing the scene.
When I found my soon-to-be ex-husband leaning against a police car, I could hardly find words. The officer explained the charges, and I felt a mix of anger and disbelief. It was a Sunday morning, yet here we were. I demanded to know where my daughter was, and after a brief exchange, I was directed to her.
Lily was scared but unharmed, and she burst into tears the moment she saw me. I held her hand tightly, reassuring her that none of this was her fault. The drive home was a blur, filled with her sobs and my heartache. Our house was chaotic upon our return, filled with crying and confusion. I had no experience with this kind of situation and felt utterly lost.
Her dad was later brought home by the police, and after hiring an expensive attorney, he took a plea deal that resulted in a 30-day jail sentence and probation. He was also subjected to an interlock system in his vehicle for three years—a reminder of the choices he made.
As I reflect on this experience, I think about the importance of keeping our loved ones safe. Alcohol has been a significant issue in my family, impacting my children daily. I had only stopped drinking a couple of months before that accident, and I still remind myself how close we came to losing Lily that day.
If you ever find yourself in a similar situation, please make the responsible choice: sleep it off, call a cab, or simply stay home. We were fortunate that day, but many families are not. As summer festivities approach—like July 4th and Labor Day—let’s ensure that we’re celebrating joyfully, not receiving devastating news.
Five years later, I’m ready to share this story. The lesson? Let’s learn from these experiences and commit to stopping drinking and driving.
For more information on how to protect your family from drunk driving, check out this helpful resource on MADD.
Summary
This narrative recounts a harrowing experience of a mother whose daughter was involved in a car accident caused by her father’s drunk driving. It highlights the devastating impact of alcohol on families and stresses the importance of responsible choices regarding drinking and driving. As we approach summer celebrations, the author emphasizes the need for vigilance to ensure the safety of loved ones.