I’m exhausted. I get it, that’s not the best excuse for anything as a mom, but honestly, what mother doesn’t feel worn out? Yet, there are days when my fatigue runs so deep, it’s like it’s embedded in my bones, impacting my ability to be the mother I aspire to be consistently.
After a long day that kicks off before sunrise, filled with the usual chaos from my three little rascals, and juggling the responsibilities of adulthood, I often find myself facing my boys around 5:30 PM, ready for the evening’s whirlwind of antics. Unfortunately, my patience and grace sometimes run dry.
When my kids start racing around, playfully slapping each other and discussing the most ridiculous things, I sometimes lose my sense of humor. As I attempt to get dinner into their mouths, they seem more interested in anything but the food I’m offering. And when it’s time for bath, and they transform into hyperactive little creatures darting around like they’ve had too much sugar, my smile fades, and I feel the frustrations bubbling up. After finally getting them tucked into bed, if they pop their heads out one more time, I might just snap.
My mantra of “cherish these moments” often flies out the window, and I realize I’m not cherishing anything at all; I’m wishing it all away.
This feeling isn’t constant, and if I’m honest with myself, most of the time I genuinely enjoy my boys and their wild, carefree spirits. But there are those days when I feel like I might lose my mind. It’s those days when a single loud shriek or my kids pretending they can’t hear me could send me straight to a vacation in a padded room.
I promised myself I wouldn’t yell. It’s counterproductive and annoying. Yet, here I am, admitting that I’ve raised my voice more often than I’m comfortable with lately. Why? Because they’re having too much fun. Because they’re playing too loudly. Because they’re so wrapped up in the moment that they don’t hear me asking them to take another bite of chicken. And because I’m too drained to handle it calmly, so I resort to yelling.
There’s a delicate balance in teaching our children to enjoy life while also listening to their parents. There’s a time and place for everything. While I love to engage in their play, I also need them to remember to listen. But is yelling actually fixing the situation? Not at all. In fact, my kids usually just laugh it off, which reassures me that I’m not damaging them as much as I fear. Yet, it also highlights how pointless my outbursts are—like trying to get a hyper 3-year-old to sit still at the dinner table.
I’ve learned that routine is crucial for us. But alongside our nightly schedule, there must be time for play. I need to join in their fun because they need my attention. On those nights when I embrace that, everything flows more smoothly. Time seems to stand still, and I realize that my boys aren’t the issue. I am.
It’s not them. It’s me. It’s me who’s too stressed to engage. It’s me who’s too tired to be present. It’s me who has allowed trivial matters to overshadow what truly matters.
So, to my boys: I’m sorry. It’s not you; it’s me. Moms aren’t perfect. We try our best, but we stumble sometimes. We yell when we should be laughing and rush when we should slow down. We sometimes forget to offer you calm in the midst of chaos. We can mess up.
Your worries about adult stresses shouldn’t be on your shoulders. You’re meant to laugh, play, and enjoy every moment of childhood. That’s your role. Mine is to help you find balance, but honestly? I think it’s you who help me find it.
Thank you for that. It’s not you; it’s me.
For more on parenting and finding balance, check out this insightful piece on Cervical Insemination. If you’re navigating your own journey, consider exploring Make A Mom’s artificial insemination kit for at-home options. And if you’re seeking more information on pregnancy and home insemination, the CDC’s resource is a great place to start.
In summary, parenting can be overwhelming, and it’s easy to lose sight of what’s important. Acknowledging our own struggles is the first step towards finding balance and truly enjoying the chaos of raising children.
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