“What’s on your mind, love?”
I hesitated, weighing whether to dive deep into my thoughts or stick with my usual, lighthearted response.
“Oh, not much,” I replied, which was a bit of a stretch.
I quickly added, “Just thinking about the kids at their grandparents’ place,” which was more accurate, but still only scratched the surface.
The reality is, much like countless mothers out there, my mind is a whirlwind of thoughts. I couldn’t pinpoint exactly what I was pondering at that moment he asked, but in the moments prior? My mental hamster wheel was spinning like crazy.
What was on my mind? Everything and nothing at all. I needed to grab a new box of contacts before we hit the road on Monday. Did I pay the babysitter too much last week? My daughter isn’t getting her fair share of veggies. I missed that writing deadline once again. Should I check in with my doctor about my anxiety? Speaking of which, does my son need any vaccinations? I should call the pediatrician for updated records. Did I register him for next year’s classes? Poor kid needs new clothes for school. He’s growing like a weed.
Oh no, the laundry! I forgot to switch it to the dryer.
Note to self: look up baby-friendly veggie recipes. Add that to the grocery list. Call the doctor. Contact the editor. Move the wash to the dryer but don’t forget to sniff it first; it might need a second wash…
I really miss my little boy. I can’t wait to pick him up from the grandparents. Hope he’s having a good day.
And that’s what I shared when he asked: just a tiny glimpse into the chaos. Not because I can’t share more — I absolutely can. He’s my best friend. But the truth is, this is what it means to have a “mom brain.” It’s a constant state of overload that many of us know all too well, aptly named the mental load.
This phenomenon is why so many mothers feel drained, even when “all we do” is stay at home. For those of us juggling work outside the home too? The thought of it is exhausting!
You’ve probably seen this unfold: you meet a mom friend, ask how she’s holding up, and she simply replies, “Tired.” But it’s not always due to lack of sleep; there’s often something more profound at play. When my partner comes home, I want to ease his burden, so I ask about his day. I genuinely care and love him.
Yet, in the background, my mental hamster wheel continues to spin.
Moms, can you relate? Because if we forget to switch the laundry, who will do it? If we overlook the vegetables, the baby may not get any. Doctor appointments, prescription refills, packing lists for vacation… all of it resides on the invisible checklist running through our minds.
This mental load is something we all manage. And I’m not suggesting it’s a problem or that we need to “fix” it. I’m not even sure it’s possible. But acknowledging its existence is important. There’s a reason we feel worn out, even when we feel like we’re not accomplishing much.
Everything that hasn’t been done and everything that needs to be done loops endlessly in our heads.
Moms, you are incredible. You’re like that fancy glue that holds everything together while remaining unseen. However, perhaps we don’t always need to carry this burden alone.
Next time someone asks, “What’s on your mind?” consider sharing your thoughts. Lighten the load, even if just for a moment. And if they look at you bewildered, reach out to another mom. They understand.
The burden might be invisible, but it’s undeniably heavy. Let’s be open and honest with one another, sharing the load as we navigate this journey together.
For more insights on navigating motherhood and fertility, check out this post on home insemination. Additionally, if you’re looking for ways to enhance your fertility journey, Make A Mom offers some great resources. And for comprehensive information on pregnancy and home insemination, Kindbody is an excellent source.
In summary, emotional labor plays a significant role in the exhaustion experienced by mothers. The mental load of managing various responsibilities and worries can overshadow the physical toll of sleep deprivation. By recognizing this and communicating openly, we can support one another in our shared experiences.