I have to admit, I can be quite stubborn. Some might say I’m one of the most determined individuals around! I view this quality as a strength rather than a flaw; it helps me stay reliable and committed. I rarely make promises I don’t keep, which has been a huge asset in my parenting journey. When I set guidelines like limiting screen time, promoting healthy eating habits, and ensuring my kids sleep in their own rooms, I’ve managed to stick to them for the most part. However, after four years of motherhood, I stumbled.
While I was expecting my daughter, I came across a compelling blog post that emphasized the importance of never letting children hear us speak negatively about our own appearance. The author mentioned that she always viewed her mother as beautiful until she heard her criticize herself, which shifted her perception of beauty. That struck a chord with me, and I vowed to never let my daughter hear me speak poorly about myself. But, as fate would have it, I broke that promise.
Every year on my daughter’s birthday, we take special photos together to capture how much we change over time. It’s a cherished tradition, even though I find being in front of the camera challenging. This year, however, as I looked at our pictures, I muttered, “Wow, I feel so unattractive.” Before I could catch myself, my daughter echoed back, “You’re unattractive?”
I regret saying it, but the words were out there, and I can’t take them back. In the moment, I quickly responded, “Oh no, Mommy didn’t mean that,” but I know she’ll eventually realize the truth behind my words.
I’m not here to preach about self-love or how to change your self-perception. I’ve always struggled with my body image, and I’m unlikely to suddenly feel great about my appearance. Instead, my focus is on breaking the cycle. I don’t want my daughter to hear me call myself unattractive and then later hear someone say, “You look just like your mom.” That’s a message I cannot allow to circulate.
Even if I don’t have a positive view of my body, I refuse to pass that negativity to my daughter. My time with her is limited, and I want to instill in her the belief that she is beautiful, protecting her from the pressures of perfection. When the day comes that her peers influence her thoughts and feelings, I can only hope I’ve done enough to strengthen her self-esteem. I want her to feel uplifted by my words instead of hindered by my own insecurities.
From now on, I won’t let her hear me call myself unattractive again.
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In summary, my journey as a mother has taught me the importance of modeling a positive self-image for my daughter. I am committed to breaking the cycle of negativity and ensuring she feels beautiful and valued, regardless of my own struggles with self-perception.