Recently, my third-grader, Jake, mentioned that a school aide questioned why his lunch was filled only with snacks and suggested he should have something more nutritious. “Mom,” he said, “maybe you should start making me sandwiches again.”
At first, I chuckled. The last few sandwiches I had packed for him came back untouched. A peanut butter and jelly? Too mushy. A Nutella sandwich? Not enough spread. A cheese sandwich? Soggy. The list goes on and on.
I’ve tried sending him pasta in a thermos and leftovers from his favorite meals, but no matter the effort, his lunch often returns with just a nibble taken or completely untouched. Can you tell he’s a picky eater? Even at 9, meal times can be a challenge. Thankfully, things have improved at home. He now eats a decent variety, even if it differs from what the rest of us enjoy. At home, I can usually get him to eat fruits, veggies, and healthy proteins.
However, school is a different story. The lunchroom is loud and bustling. It’s one of the few moments during the day for kids to socialize, and my talkative Jake often chooses to chat with friends over finishing his meal. Plus, I’m convinced he has more taste buds than the average kid and a nose like a bloodhound. The sight and smell of cafeteria food just don’t appeal to him.
While he hasn’t been diagnosed with sensory processing issues, he shows several signs—like sensitivity to clothing and a picky palate. Over time, I’ve learned not to battle him on this. Picky eating can persist beyond toddlerhood for some children, and many eventually outgrow it. According to parenting expert Lisa Green, it’s perfectly normal for kids to be picky eaters until around age 10, sometimes even into their teenage years.
To prevent him from going hungry—and knowing I can provide him with nutritious meals at home—I pack the foods he’ll actually eat. This often includes granola bars, cheese crackers, or if I’m lucky, a handful of nuts or a box of raisins. I aim to include protein along with carbs, but fruits and veggies are a no-go unless he’s at home.
It’s not an ideal solution. Like many parents, I’m just trying to do the best I can with the situation. Right now, I’m grateful when he comes home having eaten anything at all.
As for the aide’s comment? I get where she was coming from. If I were just passing by and peeked into his lunchbox, I might be concerned too. I might wonder if his mom is unaware of healthy eating or simply doesn’t care.
Yet, I wouldn’t voice those concerns. A lunchbox’s contents are too small a detail to judge the overall nutrition of a child’s diet. It’s like judging another parent by their kid’s messy hair or wrinkled shirt. What do I know about their home life?
I’m not claiming the aide was outright judging me; she merely asked a genuine question. However, such comments often carry an undertone of judgment, and I know Jake sensed the criticism. When I asked if he truly wanted me to pack sandwiches he wouldn’t eat again, he replied that he didn’t want one—he just didn’t want to seem odd to the school staff.
Eventually, he moved on from it, and so did I. Still, that moment left me feeling exposed. I briefly considered calling the school to explain why his lunch looked the way it did. But deep down, I knew I didn’t have to justify anything. I would sound ridiculous defending my 9-year-old’s lunch choices.
This experience reminded me how sensitive we parents can be to criticism. Even after nearly a decade of parenting, I still find myself overthinking my child’s lunch choices!
I suspect that scrutiny regarding my parenting—especially regarding my kids’ nutrition—won’t disappear anytime soon, even as they grow older. The silver lining is that I’m getting better at brushing off the judgment as time goes on.
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In summary, parenting comes with its fair share of challenges, especially when it comes to picky eaters. Each child is unique, and what works for one may not work for another. As parents, we do what we can to nourish our kids and navigate the criticism that often comes our way.