Why is there this recent trend of categorizing mothers into labels? It seems like every mom I encounter is eager to embrace some form of parenting identity—be it Natural Parenting, Attachment Parenting, Gentle Parenting, or even Conservative or Homeschooling mama. When did this classification begin, and why do I feel like I don’t belong?
It’s a lot like shopping for jeans; I can try on countless pairs, and yet none fit perfectly. Some may hug my hips but leave gaps at the waist, while others fit well in length but are too tight on my thighs. It’s utterly frustrating. The same goes for these parenting labels. Am I the odd one out? Are these other moms simply following a parenting philosophy outlined in a book to find a sense of belonging?
Am I doing it wrong?
Where do I fit in? I exclusively breastfeed, so that must make me a natural parent. I co-sleep with my kids, which puts me in the attachment parenting camp. My children don’t share the same father, so does that make me a “trashy” mama? Since my partner and I aren’t married, maybe I’m classified as an “alt” mama. But hold on! I also spank my older kids, own firearms, and even gifted my six-year-old a BB gun (a Red Ryder, no less!). I lose my cool sometimes, shed tears in the shower, and occasionally spray my kids with the hose while they’re playing outside, completely unaware. Oh, and I take them to church from time to time and adore the way they smell after a long day of play.
Whatever happened to simply being a mom? This high school clique mentality is exasperating. I didn’t fit in back then, and I certainly don’t now. Yet, I’m not looking for acceptance. I’m charting my own course, and my kids are doing remarkably well. So, no, I don’t believe I’m doing it wrong. In fact, I think I’m doing it just right.
You probably are, too.
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In summary, it’s essential to embrace your unique parenting style without feeling the need to conform to a specific label. Every mother’s journey is different, and that’s perfectly okay.
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