There’s been a lot of chatter lately about how social media isn’t a great substitute for “real life” friendships. Critics argue that texting has become a lazy alternative to meaningful, face-to-face interactions. Many say that people prefer emailing instead of chatting, sending Facebook messages instead of meeting up, and spending more time glued to screens than enjoying the company of friends and family.
But let’s get real, shall we? In the chaotic realm of diaper changes, toddler meltdowns, sacred naptimes, and the constant power struggles over everything from mismatched socks to requests for “just one more episode” of that cartoon, it’s often easier said than done for moms to connect in person.
This is where online friendships come into play. Sure, we know that chatting online isn’t a perfect substitute for spending quality time with friends. Yet, motherhood has shown us that sometimes you have to make do with what you have. Some connections—yes, even those labeled as “not real life”—can be better than none at all. We’d all love to host perfect playdates at a cozy café while our well-behaved kids nibble on mini muffins, allowing us to sip lattes and catch up. But let’s face it: many days, we’re in sweatpants, hair unkempt, and dodging a toddler who just used our hair as a makeshift tissue. Who has time for mom-dates?
Despite this, the loneliness can be palpable, and the desire for connection is genuine. The rise of social media and blogs has made it easier than ever for moms feeling isolated to reach out. In fact, there are instances where online friendships can even surpass traditional ones, aside from the obvious convenience. For instance, you never have to deal with her kids, which means no annoying antics to endure. Let’s be honest; we all have that one friend whose child can be, well, a handful. Online pals are also fantastic at providing encouragement and boosting our sometimes shaky mom confidence. They’ll remind you how clever you are and compliment your profile picture—no one needs to see the reality of “messy bun and no makeup” mom.
DOs and DON’Ts of Online Friendships
However, there are crucial DOs and DON’Ts when it comes to forging online friendships among moms. Drawing from our own experiences, here are some guidelines to keep in mind:
- DO embrace your inner detective. If she has a blog (and who doesn’t these days?), dive into her “Favorite Books” section and express your admiration for her taste. Engage with her Facebook posts by sharing your own parenting wins or woes.
- DON’T overdo it. There’s nothing quite as unsettling as someone liking all your photos from two years ago within 24 hours of connecting.
- DO show your true self. Moms often bond over shared parenting mishaps, so skip the bragging and be genuine about your life—think less Pinterest perfection and more real-life chaos, like the day you burnt the mac and cheese again.
- DON’T overlook the subtle hints. If you share a story about your toddler’s latest poop disaster and she changes the subject quickly, it might be time to back off! But if she enthusiastically shares her own poop-related tales, congratulations—you’ve found a kindred spirit!
- DO seek out mothers who are navigating similar challenges. Sometimes, our in-person friends may be at different stages in their parenting journeys. Finding another mom dealing with sleep deprivation or preschool drama can be incredibly beneficial.
- DON’T shy away from friendships with differing perspectives. Avoid the temptation to only bond with those who mirror your beliefs or parenting style. Rich friendships can flourish in the midst of differences, and those diverse experiences can lead to growth and understanding.
Online friendships can be incredibly fulfilling. You can connect with women you might never encounter in your everyday life, often rediscovering parts of yourself that don’t revolve around parenting. We bonded through a shared blog project that eventually evolved into a book. It’s refreshing to engage with other women who can remind you that you’re more than just a parent, sparking discussions that don’t revolve around the latest child-related fiasco.
Even though we have various differences—ranging from our backgrounds to our parenting choices—our connection has proven to be authentic, uplifting, and validating, even without having met in real life.
So, the next time you feel that pang of loneliness and a trip outside isn’t in the cards, open your laptop and explore the opportunity to make a new friend. And for more tips on navigating the journey of motherhood, check out this insightful piece on Modern Family Blog. If you’re considering home insemination, Make a Mom offers trusted at-home insemination kits, and CCRM IVF is an excellent resource for all things related to pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, while the digital age might have its drawbacks, it also offers a unique avenue for moms to forge genuine connections. Embrace the online world and you may find friendships that make the journey of motherhood a little less lonely.
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