The Importance of Valuing a Toddler’s Perspective

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My young child has developed the ability to express himself verbally, which is a significant milestone. However, the challenge lies in the fact that he rarely stops talking. His constant chatter, while often amusing, can be overwhelming. He articulates thoughts that he doesn’t quite grasp, leading to some humorous moments. I won’t claim that my son says the most entertaining things—that’s a title for another to bestow. Nevertheless, he certainly has his fair share of amusing remarks.

The real complexity arises when we start to acknowledge his opinions. My partner, Lisa, is particularly keen on soliciting our son’s input. He is just three years old.

Just yesterday, Lisa intended to take him to a transportation museum to explore larger trains, providing a new sensory experience for him. However, she received a phone call about a school visit she was considering for his future enrollment. Faced with a choice, she asked our son which activity he preferred.

Did I mention he’s only three? You can probably guess his answer.

Lisa, like many parents today, is committed to nurturing our child’s sense of agency. We aim to communicate with him in a manner that respects his individuality. However, it’s essential to remember that, at this age, he is still primarily a developing human being with limited understanding.

Would you seek your pet’s opinion before taking them for a walk? It’s a silly notion. Similarly, toddlers often lack the insight necessary for making sound decisions. My son exhibits a singular focus on his desires, which means he may not always appreciate the bigger picture.

While I fully support allowing him to express himself, I also recognize that his understanding of what is best for him is minimal. Emotional validation is crucial, and we strive to acknowledge his feelings. We often say things like, “I understand you’re upset…” followed by, “…and it’s perfectly okay to feel that way…” ultimately leading to the reality that we still need to carry out our plans, even if it means ignoring his immediate desires.

It’s vital to permit children to voice their opinions, even if they often revolve around topics like fire trucks or imaginary games. Although his verbal expressions may sometimes seem nonsensical, they hold genuine value. Nonetheless, as parents, we must balance recognizing these feelings with the need to maintain authority.

Empowering children is essential, but we must be cautious of confusing empowerment with entitlement. Just as opinions can be subjective, children who always receive their desired outcomes may develop an unrealistic sense of entitlement.

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In conclusion, while it is important to foster a child’s ability to express their opinions, it is equally crucial to maintain the parental role of guidance and authority. Balancing these aspects will help nurture a child’s individuality while ensuring they understand the importance of boundaries in decision-making.

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