It’s 3:38 a.m., and the rain is pouring outside. My partner is away for work, and I find myself parenting solo this week.
My little one has just woken up, insisting that all the blankets must come off. He asks me to “hug” him and “sing.” So here I am, pacing in the dark, singing to a toddler. The weight of sleep still hangs heavily on my eyelids, yet I remain awake in the quiet, gently swaying and singing.
He is warm and cozy in my embrace, content with his needs met, blissfully unaware that I, too, long for rest. In this moment, I feel like the only person awake in the world. The silence envelops me, replacing the comfort of the bed I wish to return to, with only the creak of the floorboards beneath my feet breaking the stillness.
These are the challenging moments that every parent knows too well. They can be exhausting and trying, particularly as a sleep-deprived solo caregiver. However, they also present an opportunity to dig deep and discover invaluable treasures. While my instinct is to seek out sleep, it is also in these moments that the real magic occurs. I realize that I am the only one in this instance capable of providing comfort to my child. If I were to withdraw my affection, he would feel vulnerable and abandoned, leading to tears. Instead, I can offer immediate security by holding him and singing, albeit in a less-than-stellar voice.
This is the essence of parenting. It is an ongoing test of resilience, adaptability, and the willingness to bend to the ever-changing needs of our children. As parents, we must seek out the magic in these unlikely moments, making the journey feel more manageable and smoother.
Thus, I choose to view this moment as the brief gift that it is. My eyes adjust to the darkness, and I catch a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror—a fierce mama bear and her cub, united in swaying motion as we await the return of sleep.
Often, these fleeting connections with our children can feel like mere tasks. Yet, it is in times of struggle that we can truly appreciate the privilege of parenthood. Practicing gratitude during these challenging moments has become my lifesaver, turning negativity into positivity.
I’m grateful to be my son’s sole parent this week. I feel the weight of responsibility resting solely on my shoulders, with no backup or family support. If my partner were here, perhaps I wouldn’t be able to find the magic. I might instead find myself pacing in the dark, resenting him for being asleep while I sing to our child.
So, I continue through the early hours of the morning. If I can summon the positivity and selflessness necessary to keep going—like a branch bending in the wind instead of breaking—I experience fulfillment, happiness, and warmth. These quiet, sleepy hours deepen our bond, and in nurturing my son, I nurture my own spirit. Love is an action.
A smile spreads across my face as I feel his little head melt against my shoulder. He relaxes and drifts back to sleep. We quietly slip back under the covers together, and as he nuzzles against me, I listen to the rain outside. I think of all the other parents who are experiencing similar moments right now, and I feel a sense of comfort. I am not alone.
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Summary:
In the demanding hours of parenting, especially when faced with challenges, embracing gratitude can transform our outlook. This piece reflects on the intimate moments shared between a parent and child during the quiet hours of the night, highlighting the importance of finding joy and connection even amid exhaustion. It encourages parents to appreciate their unique role and the privilege of nurturing their children while also nurturing themselves.