Menu
Parenting
A Coloring Book for New Parents
by Mia Thompson
Updated: Dec. 21, 2020
Originally Published: Dec. 30, 2012
In the world of self-care, adult coloring books have become a popular trend. These books often feature intricate designs and more mature themes, ranging from beautiful florals to spiritual symbols. Picture this: you’ve just survived a chaotic trip to the store, where you were berated by a well-meaning elderly lady for your choice of outfit for your daughter, dealt with multiple meltdowns in different aisles, and faced an unfortunate diaper disaster in the dairy section. At the end of that exhausting day, you may find solace in the thought of unwinding on your couch with a set of colored pencils, ready to fill in a dizzying mandala while dodging the remnants of your chaotic life.
I must confess, I embrace the madness—it’s part of the joy of parenthood! That’s why I’ve created my own adult coloring book specifically for new parents. These illustrations are designed to help you unwind and reflect on the daily adventures of parenthood, even if they sometimes feel like narrow escapes from disaster. Grab your colored pencils and dive into the world of chaos—where you might find a tiny, screaming, pantsless baby next to a (very large) glass of wine and a marker your dog just tried to munch on. Don’t be surprised if the aroma wafting around you is a delightful blend of baby spit-up and old diapers. Namaste.
Drawing 1: You’re Late, You’ve Just Buckled Your Baby Into the Car Seat, and They’ve Chosen That Moment to Have a Diaper Explosion
Mia Thompson
Jordan Lee
Did you have plans for the day? Not if your baby has anything to say about it! There’s a near certainty that the moment you secure them in their car seat, they’ll unleash a torrent of unpleasantness. Take a moment to enjoy this drawing, and remember the pediatrician’s reprimands for your tardiness, all while they made you wait for 35 minutes before finally seeing you.
Drawing 2: The Old Woman in the Grocery Store Parking Lot Criticizes You Because It’s 60 Degrees and Your Baby Isn’t Wearing Socks to Walk the Short Distance to the Car
Mia Thompson
You don’t realize just how much unsolicited advice exists until you have a child. Once your baby is out in public, the so-called “experts” will emerge, ready to inform you that you’re doing everything wrong. “Did you know your baby will suffer lifelong ear problems if they don’t wear a hat for just 30 seconds outside?” or “Is your child really squirming out of that high chair?” I suggest responding with creative honesty: “My child’s favorite snack is dog hair, she often goes without pants, and when she’s screaming, I happily let her lick my phone.” In short: “Please just go away.”
Drawing 3: You Looked Away for Just a Moment, and Now Your Baby Has Devoured Driveway Gravel
Mia Thompson
Driveway gravel is a rock, and rocks are a mineral, right? One of the first lessons I learned as a new mom is that vacuuming endlessly is futile. My child has the uncanny ability to locate the most unsanitary objects on the floor. That pretzel rod you dropped last spring? She will find it. Driveway gravel? Consider it a delicacy. Dried leaves? Gourmet fare. Even her own vomit is on the menu—she is always hungry!
Drawing 4: Your Baby Seems to Have a Pants Allergy, Especially in Public, and Everyone Is Judging You for Not Dressing Them
Mia Thompson
The only thing your baby dislikes more than pants is staying still. Pants are a hindrance to your attempts to appear as a composed parent who actually dresses their child. The struggle is real; if you manage to get them on, they’ll quickly drag them around your dirt-covered floors, attracting an impressive amount of dog hair. Are we about to rename your little one “Oliver Twist”? All eyes are on you and your pantsless wonder. Refer back to Drawing 3 for a reminder that you may be living in chaos.
Congratulations on embracing your new hobby! Finding time for yourself as a mother is crucial. When I’m not snuggling my little one or coloring, I often find myself in a giant, stained sweatsuit, rocking back and forth in a corner while shouting, “Don’t touch me!” at my partner. And trust me, colored pencils are the way to go over markers.
For more parenting insights, check out this post on our blog, or visit Make a Mom for reputable at-home insemination kits. If you’re curious about the process of intrauterine insemination, Healthline provides excellent resources on the subject.
Summary:
This blog post is a humorous take on the chaotic yet rewarding journey of new parenthood, featuring illustrations that capture relatable moments of parenting. It highlights the struggles of everyday life as a parent, encouraging readers to embrace the madness with a little creativity and humor.
Leave a Reply