Twelve years ago, when my eldest child was a toddler, we hosted a childless couple for dinner. While we were chatting in the living room, our charming nearly 3-year-old approached, casually leaning on the arm of my chair, and surprised us all with a bold request: “Wanna nurse?”
The stunned look on our friends’ faces was priceless, and after a moment of laughter, I replied, “No, thanks. Maybe later.” To my relief, our little one accepted my answer and scampered off. “Did she just say what I think she said?” our friend asked. Yes, she did.
All three of my children nursed until they were just past 3 years old. By that time, it was uncommon for my daughter to ask to nurse; we had mostly transitioned to nursing only at bedtime and in the morning. However, we were still in the process of weaning, and our friends witnessed a part of that journey. Thankfully, they laughed with me, but I understand that seeing a child ask to nurse can be quite shocking if you’re not accustomed to it.
Given the myriad opinions and judgments surrounding this topic, it’s important to clarify that my decision to breastfeed beyond infancy was not motivated by the following:
- To cause discomfort in others.
- To make a statement or prove a point.
- Due to an unhealthy attachment to breastfeeding or inappropriate motives.
- Out of insecurity or a desire for attention.
- A need for my children to depend on me.
- A belief in my superiority as a mother.
- An inability to say no.
- A reluctance for my children to grow up.
- Laziness in preparing solid food.
- A desire for recognition or praise.
These misconceptions about extended breastfeeding are common, but they do not apply to my experience.
Ten Genuine Reasons for Extended Breastfeeding
In contrast, here are ten genuine reasons why we chose to breastfeed through toddlerhood:
- Comfort: Nursing remained a vital source of comfort for my toddlers, just as it had been since birth. For many children, breastfeeding serves the same role as pacifiers or comfort objects. The soothing nature of nursing helped us navigate the challenging toddler years.
- Nutrition: Breastmilk retains its nutritional value well beyond infancy. While toddlers require a balanced diet, breastfeeding continues to offer essential nutrients. The idea that cow’s milk is a superior alternative is questionable, as it’s simply a different species’ milk.
- Financial Savings: Breastfeeding is cost-free. I saw no reason to purchase cow’s milk or alternatives when I had a readily available and nutritious source of milk.
- Convenience: When a nursing toddler requests milk, there’s no need to get up or prepare anything, making it an incredibly convenient option.
- Research-Backed: My mother was a lactation consultant, and I grew up informed about the benefits of breastfeeding. Extensive research supports extended breastfeeding without any evidence of harm. Anthropologist Katherine Dettwyler estimates that the natural weaning age for humans is between 2.5 and 7 years.
- Respect for Their Needs: My children expressed a desire to continue breastfeeding, and I wanted to respect that. We approached the weaning process gradually, ensuring it was a smooth transition.
- Calmness Amidst Chaos: Nursing provided a much-needed calm for my toddlers during their energetic explorations. This quiet time may have contributed to fewer tantrums.
- Body Image: While this is a more personal reason, breastfeeding helped me maintain my pre-pregnancy weight and even enhanced my body image temporarily.
- Personal Experience: I was breastfed until 2.5 years old, and my husband until about 4. We both turned out to be well-adjusted individuals. My exposure to nursing made it feel entirely normal.
- Confidence: Despite societal discomfort around extended breastfeeding, I was confident in my decision based on my experiences and those of others. Supportive relationships made it easier to navigate any judgment.
If you were to meet my children today, you wouldn’t guess they nursed until age three; they don’t remember it and see it as a normal part of their infancy. Our culture’s unease with extended breastfeeding stems from societal norms, and arguments against it often lack substantial basis.
I fully acknowledge that some women may choose not to breastfeed for personal reasons, and that’s completely valid. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends at least one year, while the World Health Organization suggests two years or longer, depending on mutual desire.
Ultimately, the choice of when to wean should be personal and free of external pressures. Each mother’s journey is unique, and understanding the rationale behind different choices can foster a more supportive environment. For more information on pregnancy and home insemination, visit CDC Pregnancy. Additionally, if you’re looking for resources related to home insemination, check out Intracervical Insemination Blog. You can also explore authoritative insights from Make a Mom.
In summary, extended breastfeeding can provide comfort, nutrition, and a strong bond between mother and child, while supporting a gradual weaning process that respects the child’s needs. Every family’s approach to breastfeeding is individual, and understanding these diverse experiences can lead to greater acceptance within our communities.