It’s challenging to articulate this sentiment: “If someone is behaving in a manner that makes you uncomfortable, simply ask them kindly to stop.” I often find myself grappling with the discomfort of instilling such notions in my daughters—encouraging them to approach difficult situations with a sense of politeness when faced with individuals who do not deserve it. It is disheartening to recognize that by doing so, I may be inadvertently teaching them to be submissive.
I’ve come to realize that I am raising my daughters to be fearful and overly accommodating—qualities that I possess myself. While I may present myself as a strong advocate for assertiveness, my actions often tell a different story. In real-life encounters, my ability to assert myself is frequently overshadowed by anxiety. This behavior is not what I want for my children.
For instance, imagine a scenario where a child is pushing my daughter down a slide. Instead of standing up for herself, I can envision her politely asking the other child to stop—while the aggressor continues to act without regard for her feelings. This scenario may lead to unfortunate consequences, and I am left to question my approach to parenting.
Too often, women, including myself, have been conditioned to maintain propriety even in the face of unfair treatment. I find myself hesitating to advocate for my rights due to fears of confrontation, losing my job, or being labeled negatively. Unfortunately, this pattern of behavior extends to how I raise my daughters. I want them to be strong and assertive, capable of standing against domestic violence and workplace discrimination.
Reflecting on my past experiences, I realize that I have often succumbed to harassment without taking action. I remember a time in college when a man cornered me and made me uncomfortable; instead of calling for help, I allowed fear to dictate my response. These moments of powerlessness are not isolated incidents. They are indicative of a broader issue that many women face.
As I transitioned into the workforce, I continued to experience inequitable treatment. I was subjected to inappropriate comments about my appearance and felt compelled to remain silent. I should have been more assertive, advocating for myself and standing against such disrespect.
Moreover, the rise of social media has introduced new avenues for harassment. As a writer, I have encountered aggressive and derogatory comments online, which often leave me feeling vulnerable. There are times when I should block or report these individuals, but I find myself hesitating. This reluctance to confront negativity is something I must change—not only for my sake but for my daughters’ future.
I am committed to altering my approach to parenting and personal interactions. My goal is to empower my daughters to be assertive and self-assured individuals. I want them to embrace their voices and feel confident in expressing their needs. This includes teaching them how to handle difficult interactions and to recognize when to disengage for their own well-being.
In conclusion, my journey toward raising empowered daughters is ongoing. I am dedicated to replacing my passive teachings with strong, affirming messages that inspire confidence and resilience. It’s imperative that I model assertiveness and help my daughters navigate the challenges they may encounter in life.
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Summary:
In this article, Dr. Sarah Thompson reflects on her parenting approach, acknowledging her tendency to raise her daughters with an emphasis on politeness rather than assertiveness. She recognizes the importance of empowering her children to stand up against unfair treatment and harassment, drawing from her own experiences of passivity in challenging situations. Committed to fostering confidence and resilience in her daughters, she aims to model assertive behavior and encourage open communication.