Every day starts with me reminding myself, “Be kind to yourself.” I aspire to live in the moment, enjoy the aroma of my coffee, and embrace my children without being swept away by the endless list of tasks demanding my attention.
Sure, being a Type-A mom has its advantages. I accomplish a lot, and from the outside, it may seem like I have everything under control. However, the reality is that I put in a tremendous amount of effort to maintain this facade. My mind is constantly racing, and I tend to overanalyze everything. I often berate myself for any missteps, and believing that I’m enough is a daily challenge.
The relentless drive to complete my to-do list, to maximize productivity each day, and to push myself harder is an ever-present voice in my head. I battle with it every single day because it steals my joy, preventing me from enjoying precious moments with my kids without that nagging reminder of everything left to do.
What happens if I don’t accomplish everything? Who will take care of those tasks? What if I forget something important? These thoughts sneak in and grip me tightly.
I yearn to be more relaxed. I genuinely want to pass by a scuff mark on the wall without feeling it’s yelling at me. I wish I could focus on making breakfast without my mind racing ahead to next week’s obligations. Instead, as soon as I crack an egg, my thoughts scatter, adding more to my plate despite knowing it’s overwhelming. I act as my own drill sergeant.
If you can relate to being a Type-A mom—especially if you also struggle with anxiety—I feel your pain. You are critical of yourself, often hearing that you’re too hard on yourself, but you don’t know how to function any other way. You hold yourself to standards you wouldn’t impose on anyone else. But you? You should have the ability to do it all. You can figure it out.
Efficiency is your mantra. Time is always of the essence. You juggle multiple tasks simultaneously and seldom ask for help because, deep down, you trust that you’re the only one who can execute things the right way. Even when exhaustion sets in, you keep pushing through.
Anxiety and impatience often rear their heads when you take on too much, setting unrealistic deadlines for yourself. It’s a challenging game we play, one that leaves us feeling dizzy and can lead to irritability and frustration.
Relaxation is a rare luxury. Even after a long day of high achievement, there’s a voice whispering, “You could be doing more.” It’s easy to feel unworthy of downtime, even when you know it’s crucial for your well-being. Often, we convince ourselves we don’t need it, powering through until we’re completely overwhelmed.
For Type-A moms, this tendency won’t just evaporate. We won’t transform into laid-back individuals any more than those who are naturally easygoing can become tightly wound. It’s a wish we all share because, on the surface, we might appear competent, but it comes at a steep cost. We rarely allow ourselves a break.
Parenting has taught me more about tempering my Type-A tendencies than anything else. I’ve tried everything—yoga, meditation, journaling, even therapy. Motherhood has shown me that things rarely go as planned. I need to ask for help, even when it means things won’t unfold exactly as I envisioned. Understanding that love often drives the efforts others put forth helps me let go of perfectionism. And honestly, does it really matter if all the food labels are perfectly aligned? (Although the mere thought might make my eye twitch). What truly matters is my family’s happiness, which flourishes when I allow myself to relax a bit.
The moments when I’ve embraced imperfection in motherhood have been my most valuable lessons. Yes, I still worry—like any mom—but I’m learning not to stress over inconsequential things, like whether my children’s outfits match or if their hair is always styled. My children remind me daily to be present. They get lost in thought, seek my undivided attention, and find joy in the moment without worrying about next Tuesday. We all know how fleeting childhood is, and I don’t want my kids to look back and remember me as someone preoccupied with organizing or making lists.
Type-A moms do get things done, but it’s perfectly okay if we don’t. Nothing catastrophic will occur. I’m gradually learning to loosen my grip, step by step, and it feels liberating.
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In summary, while being a Type-A mom can be a juggling act filled with self-imposed pressure, learning to embrace imperfections and savor the present can lead to a more joyful parenting experience.