The Things My Kids Get Away With

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When morning rolls around, my first order of business is brushing my teeth. I stand at the sink, toothbrush in hand, dancing a little because I desperately need to pee. But before I can even think of that, I have to tackle the awful flavor in my mouth. Bad breath is a nightmare. Yet, when my toddler breathes his morning, milk-infused breath directly into my face, somehow it feels acceptable. It’s because he’s my child, and I cherish those moments of closeness. In our cozy home, my kids manage to get away with all sorts of things that would be deemed unacceptable elsewhere. Here are just a few:

1. My kids can sneeze directly onto my face from mere inches away. Not the polite, controlled sneezes of adulthood, but the messy, wet kind. This especially applies to my youngest, who follows up each sneeze—his own or someone else’s—with a cheery “achoo!” “Achoo, Mommy!” “Achoo, Daddy!” Meanwhile, the baby grins after every sneeze, as if he has just achieved something monumental. Thanks, little ones, for giving me an excuse to wash my face.

2. The toddler has perfected the art of bonking me on the head. With his endearing little voice, he announces “bonk” right after the act, usually while patting his own head. No matter how I feel about getting hit on the head, I can’t help but laugh and respond with a “bonk” of my own.

3. My baby can drool on me without a care in the world. He can create impressive streams of drool on my knee, arm, or even my face, no matter how freshly dressed I am. He beams with joy during this process, and I just let it happen. It’ll dry, right?

4. The toddler places various objects on my head, declaring them “hats.” Whether it’s stuffed animals, Mega Blocks, or even Christmas ornaments, I find it amusing and often encourage this little game. When he insists on putting a “hat” on the baby, I happily oblige—it’s just too cute.

5. The baby enjoys chewing on anything that isn’t a safety hazard. If I were to nibble on a remote control, it would be strange, but it’s perfectly fine for him. In fact, I’ll even take the batteries out for him.

6. My toddler can engage me in the same three-second phone conversation repeatedly. “Hello? Hi! How are you?” and then it’s “Bye!” I can’t help but smile as he eagerly “calls” me back for another round.

7. Both kids can make incredibly loud noises at any given moment. One moment we’re quietly watching TV, and then—bam!—they erupt with excitement. Their joy is infectious, and I let them express themselves freely while they can.

8. The baby can repeat a nonsensical sound over and over without annoying me. “Ba-ba-ba-ba” can go on for what feels like an eternity, and I’m all ears, ready to join in the fun.

9. My toddler can stare at the toilet and exclaim, “Wow!” I’ve seen countless toilets in my day, but he’s just discovering them. His fascination is refreshing, and I encourage his curiosity.

10. Both kids can linger in the bathtub for what feels like an eternity. For them, bath time is a joyous occasion filled with water, bubbles, and colorful toys. Meanwhile, I’m playing a game of “Can I shower before they need me?”

11. My toddler can tackle me unexpectedly. He charges from behind and throws his weight against my back, expecting me to catch him and flip him over. I happily oblige, knowing one day he’ll be too heavy for this playful routine.

12. Personal space? What’s that? My kids invade my bubble at will, and I welcome them in. I love these moments, and I know that when they grow older, they’ll create their own space.

The list of my children’s antics is extensive and constantly evolving, just as the list of what I can get away with as their mom. I’ll always hug them in public, hold their hands, and shower them with affection, no matter how old they get. As I’ve come to understand, every moment counts, and I wouldn’t trade these experiences for anything. Just like in our post on this blog, where we explore how to embrace parenting challenges, I find joy in the chaos of motherhood.

In conclusion, my kids may get away with a lot, but so do I as their mom. I’ll cherish every hug, every laugh, and every adventure. Even if their breath sometimes smells like whole milk and Goldfish, I’ll always want them close.

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