Many years ago, my father imparted a poignant lesson that has stayed with me: “If you want something in life, you need to position yourself to achieve it. Relying on others can lead to disappointment.” This conversation took place while we were finishing up the dinner dishes—he drying and me putting them away. His words, whether intentional or not, encapsulated a fundamental principle of feminism: the importance of independence, self-determination, and equal opportunity. Just as crucially, this was a demonstration of his belief in my capabilities, reinforcing that I deserved respect and equal chances in life.
As parents, we are constantly imparting lessons to our children, whether through our actions or words. It is vital to reflect on our values and beliefs, ensuring that our children absorb messages of equality and respect. Despite my family’s traditional appearance—my partner works while I care for our young children—I identify firmly as a feminist, advocating for equality in all its forms. Raising two sons, I recognize the necessity of instilling an understanding of feminism and gender equality in them. Gender inequality affects everyone, and it is our duty to challenge stereotypes and biases that society imposes from an early age.
While numerous resources focus on teaching feminist values to daughters, I found there was a gap when it came to addressing the unique experiences of raising boys. So, I took the initiative to curate a list of feminist lessons specifically tailored for my sons. Here are 25 principles I believe are essential:
- Feminism is about equality, not femininity.
- Being a boy does not exclude you from being a feminist. Interests like sports or action films do not negate your commitment to equality.
- It’s perfectly acceptable to express your emotions, including crying—just do so responsibly.
- Foster friendships with girls.
- Interests are not gendered; girls can enjoy trucks and superheroes just as boys can like dolls and tea parties.
- The phrases “like a man” or “like a girl” lack substance—ignore them.
- Strength and sensitivity can coexist harmoniously.
- Your anatomy does not grant you privileges; it simply signifies your humanity.
- Open doors for all, as a gesture of kindness rather than obligation. Good manners apply universally.
- True beauty emanates from within, beyond physical appearance.
- Acts of kindness, like paying for dinner or giving flowers, should be based on generosity, not ulterior motives.
- Engage in sexual relationships only when both parties are ready, understanding the emotional implications.
- Consent is paramount: “No” means no, and silence also signifies refusal.
- Surround yourself with individuals who encourage your best self and avoid those who wish to change you for their benefit.
- Equal work warrants equal pay; fairness in labor is non-negotiable.
- Your gender, job, or material possessions do not define your worth—character and kindness do.
- If you marry, remember that name choices do not reflect love levels.
- Financial contributions are not the only means of supporting a family.
- Make family decisions based on what is truly best for everyone involved, considering all factors and changes over time.
- Men can handle household chores equally; societal norms do not dictate ability.
- Apologizing is a strength, not a weakness; it shows courage.
- Acknowledge your privileges and advocate for those without the same advantages.
- Cultivate sensitivity and empathy toward others.
- Differences among individuals enrich our lives—celebrate, don’t fear them.
- Uphold these lessons not as acts of charity but as essential practices for fairness and respect, with the potential to create meaningful change.
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In summary, these lessons are not merely about protecting individuals or groups but are fundamental to fostering a society grounded in equality and respect. By embracing these principles, we can contribute to a better world, one small step at a time.