Navigating the challenges of parenting a tween can be both amusing and exasperating. Here are twelve phrases I’ve often said to my son, Max, that he has now taken to heart and eagerly echoes back to me.
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I was just joking!
Sarcasm has always been my go-to for humor, and Max caught on early. Now, when I make a sarcastic comment, he responds with, “Oh really? I can’t wait for our shopping trip for my graduation blazer!” When I reply, “That sounds fun,” he retorts, “I was just joking! I’d rather have needles poked in my eyes!” Clearly, he’s learned from the best. -
You know junk food isn’t healthy, right?
After a particularly rough day, if I indulge in a Coke Zero, Max is quick to remind me of the negative effects of junk food. He launches into a vivid description of a YouTube video showing a boiling Coke turning into a sticky mess, which feels like poetic justice for the years I warned him that Nacho Cheese Doritos would stain his insides. -
I don’t understand. What’s so funny about that?
There’s a show, Drake & Josh, that sends Max and his friends into fits of laughter. After being subjected to countless reruns, I often say, “I don’t understand. What’s funny about that?” Now, when I try to share something humorous, he retaliates with my own words. It’s frustrating enough that I’ve tried—and failed—to appreciate the humor in Drake & Josh. -
I need some personal time.
Every parent has uttered this phrase, often retreating to a bathroom with a book. However, Max has redefined “personal time” to mean any instance he’s dodging homework, chores, or even a simple conversation about his day. -
When was the last time you brushed your teeth?
Max has recently become more conscious of hygiene. Consequently, when I indulge in a garlicky meal, he feels entitled to call me out on my breath, a delightful turn of events since I used to tease him about his lack of cleanliness. -
Why do I have to do everything?
This phrase escapes his lips whenever he’s asked to tidy up or take his plate to the sink. Trust me, Max, one day you’ll truly understand the meaning of “doing everything.” -
It’s not a playdate when my friends come over. We’re just hanging out.
For years, Max referred to my social gatherings as playdates. Now, he insists he’s too grown up for that terminology, though I hope he remains wine-free for many years to come. -
I need some space right now.
This phrase, often accompanied by a slamming door, has become a staple in our household. I can assure you, I only use it when overwhelmed, not when I’m just lounging with comic books. -
You’re wearing that again?
Max’s uniform consists of a long-sleeve T-shirt, sweatpants, and Vans. When I tried to encourage him to diversify his wardrobe, he pointed out my own penchant for wearing the same grey pants and white T-shirt. Touché. -
Could you aim the ball at me instead of over the fence?
Whenever I misthrow a ball, Max is quick to remind me of my past admonitions when he couldn’t quite throw in the right direction. It’s amusing how these lessons come full circle. -
Somebody needs to visit their hairstylist.
When I comment on Max’s need for a haircut, he retaliates by presenting my greys. It’s a playful reminder that we all have our grooming needs. -
Seriously?
This one word can encapsulate a range of disbelief. Whether it’s about eating spinach pizza or watching a documentary about a swimmer, Max has picked up this phrase from my occasional exclamations. Clearly, he’s a quick learner.
In summary, these twelve phrases are part of the learning curve in parenting a tween. As Max integrates my words into his own lexicon, it reminds me of the influence we have as parents. For more parenting insights, check out our other articles like the one on home insemination kits or visit Make a Mom for expert advice on fertility journeys. You can also explore Science Daily for valuable resources on pregnancy and home insemination.