You can spot (or more likely hear) us from quite a distance. It may seem like we’re engaged in a game of charades as my partner, Alex, and I communicate through hand gestures, gritting our teeth while delivering a silent ultimatum to one of the kids: “This is it. Never again!” Except we’ve probably said that a thousand times before.
We frantically tidy up the house in the ten minutes leading up to a visitor’s arrival. However, mere moments after achieving a semblance of order, everything returns to its usual state of delightful chaos.
When we arrive at church (and if we’re fortunate, only a few minutes late), it has been noted on more than one occasion that the “entertainment” has arrived. Yes, we are those people.
We likely run the dryer an extra five times to “re-fluff” the laundry that has been sitting around waiting to be folded for… wait, what day is it again?
In grocery stores, malls, and amusement parks, we are the source of both amusement and exasperation. Picture us maneuvering two shopping carts and a double stroller (trust me, nobody appreciates the person blocking the aisles with a double stroller), while our kids dash about in every direction they shouldn’t be.
It’s safe to say we haven’t experienced a full night’s sleep in seven years and, realistically, we probably won’t for at least another seven. Our vehicle is bursting at the seams, and whether it’s a day trip or a weekend getaway, we find ourselves packing twelve bags just to maintain some semblance of sanity. But fear not: should something go missing, we can likely locate an odd sock, a few stray shoes, or an extra sippy cup hidden in the most unexpected places.
As our family continues to grow, we’ve received fewer invitations to gatherings, and the tolerance for our delightful circus seems to diminish. Despite stocking up on enough food and toiletries to sustain an army, we inevitably find ourselves needing to restock paper towels, diapers, or wipes just days after our grand shopping spree.
Meal times usually feature at least one child crying, another screaming, someone attempting a dramatic escape from their chair, or breaking into an impromptu dance in the middle of the kitchen. It’s a rollercoaster of extremes—there’s never a dull moment in our home, which operates on this thrilling rhythm almost the entire week.
You can often find me racing around the house, nursing a baby in one arm while simultaneously chasing two toddlers with my free hand, all while another kiddo calls out to me from a different room. The dog is barking, someone is knocking at the door, the phone is ringing, and the smoke alarm is blaring from my latest cooking adventure. You might read about families like ours in stories or see them in movies, but no, that’s us. We are those people.
Our bed is far too small for our family, and by “bed,” I mean the entire family’s sleeping space since no one prefers their own bed. Snack time appears to happen continuously throughout the day; when we visit someone else’s home, you’d think our children hadn’t eaten in ages. With them being all under 6 years old, I shudder to think about the teenage years ahead.
I will openly admit that I eagerly await pizza night every Friday and have a soft spot for our paper plates, which have become our most cherished dining ware.
We work diligently, play hard, argue passionately, and love even more fiercely. Yes, we are that family—the wonderfully chaotic one I’ve envisioned for most of my life.
In all honesty, I wouldn’t change a thing. Our family is wonderfully disheveled and perpetually exhausted but also deeply in love with the delightful chaos that surrounds us. So, the next time you receive an eye roll or overhear whispers meant for you, remember: if your family feels a bit offbeat, you might just be doing something right.
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Summary
This article reflects the joys and challenges of managing a large, lively family. It captures the beautiful chaos of parenthood with humor and honesty, while also hinting at valuable resources for those interested in home insemination.