It often starts out innocently enough, but I can’t help but feel a hint of judgment behind the questions I receive about my role as a stay-at-home mom (SAHM). Initially, it was the simple inquiries like, “What do you do all day?” Then, as my children moved through preschool, it morphed into, “What will you do with all that extra time?” Now that they are nearing full days at school, I often hear, “What are your plans for next year?”
These questions have stirred up guilt and self-doubt within me. I’ve had days (and weeks) where laundry piled up and dinner was a last-minute decision. I’ve often found myself overwhelmed, especially during the hectic phases of having twins and a toddler. Honestly, how does anyone manage everything in just 24 hours?
As my kids have grown, so too have my feelings of inadequacy when faced with the looming question of what comes next. After much thought and discussions with my partner, I’ve decided to embrace my role as a SAHM and recognize the value it brings to our family. Here are five reasons I’ll continue this path even when my kids are in school:
1. I Can Make This Work.
It’s a straightforward truth. For years, our family has thrived on my partner’s income, and we have no reason to change that. While we aren’t wealthy, we’re comfortably situated within the middle class. We can manage on a single income by adhering to a budget and being resourceful. Sure, an extra paycheck would be nice, but there are deeper reasons for my choice to stay home.
2. I’ll Be Present.
There are numerous school breaks and unexpected days off when kids are home, and I want to be there for them. My friends who work often face challenges finding reliable childcare during these times. With me at home, we won’t have to scramble when illness strikes or when school is out. Plus, I’ll never have to work evenings or weekends, allowing me to be fully available for my kids.
3. To Alleviate My Partner’s Load.
While it may seem counterintuitive, having a stay-at-home partner can actually ease the burden on my spouse. He works tirelessly to provide for us, and I want to take on more responsibilities at home to help him unwind after a long day. Tasks like yard work and household chores that have traditionally fallen to him will now be my domain. I want him to come home and enjoy a peaceful evening instead of diving straight into chores.
4. To Improve Myself.
Much of what I plan to do moving forward aligns with what I’ve always done, but I’m excited to enhance my efforts. I aim to focus on meal planning, budgeting smarter, and managing my time more effectively. But beyond household tasks, I want to prioritize my personal growth, pursue my interests, and cultivate a happier, less stressed version of myself that my family will love being around.
5. Because Time is Precious.
Having faced serious health challenges, I understand how fleeting life can be. The most valuable thing we can have is time spent together as a family. By remaining at home, I can manage chores during the week, freeing up our evenings and weekends for quality family moments. Imagine how much more time we can share when errands and tasks don’t infringe on our weekends. I feel the swift passage of time with each milestone my children reach, and I want to savor every moment.
So, what will I do next year? Enjoy every second of it.
For more insights on family planning and home insemination, check out our post on intracervical insemination. If you’re considering becoming a parent, Make A Mom provides excellent resources, as well as the ASRM which offers valuable information on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary:
Choosing to remain a stay-at-home mom even after my kids start school is a decision rooted in practicality, emotional availability, and the desire for personal growth. By focusing on creating a nurturing environment, I can support my family while pursuing my passions and savoring our time together.