Let’s be honest: a minor inconvenience like a shortage of pumpkin spice lattes at your local café might not be on par with a natural disaster, but it can certainly throw a wrench in your morning routine. These so-called First World Problems—like finding out your friend texted you about a sold-out Tory Burch purse or your Wi-Fi acting up just as you’re about to snag concert tickets—merely warrant a few sad emojis. However, as someone who grew up in the ’80s, I face a unique set of dilemmas that those raised in less fabulous decades simply don’t understand. Here are 18 relatable First World Problems for us ’80s kids:
- Late-night TV channel surfing only to stumble upon the unedited version of Fast Times at Ridgemont High, but knowing you have a 5 a.m. wake-up call.
- Coming to grips with the fact that no matter how many times you ask, your partner still won’t attempt the iconic lift from Dirty Dancing.
- Asking your kids to record a show for later, only to be reminded they have no clue what “tape” means. You sigh and say “never mind” because translating it to “DVR” feels like too much work.
- Discovering a forgotten disposable camera in a box of childhood treasures, only to realize you’ll never see those photos because who develops film anymore?
- Browsing the toy aisle and feeling bewildered as you see the revamped version of My Little Pony and questioning why anyone would mess with perfection.
- Cringing when Nirvana plays on the ’80s XM channel, fully aware they belong on the ’90s on 9.
- Feeling pity mixed with rage when someone admits they’ve never seen Michael Jackson’s Thriller music video or thinks November Rain is too long.
- Dreaming about a life with your childhood crush, Jamie, but then seeing him on a magazine cover looking flawless while you’re out in sweats buying household essentials.
- Lawn darts being banned means your kids will miss out on the thrill of dangerously fun games.
- The local skating rink has turned into a run-down shack, robbing you of the chance to introduce your kids to your backward-skating glory days.
- Electric Youth perfume is a relic of the past, and kids today wouldn’t even recognize Debbie Gibson.
- You can’t make mixtapes anymore because recording songs from XM Radio is a thing of the past.
- It frustrates you to think how much more you could fit in your car for a family road trip if your kids could just sit in the way-back like you used to.
- Realizing your beloved Caboodles organizer is now broken and that the new versions are flimsy imitations.
- Hearing Footloose in the grocery store makes it impossible to shop until you dance it out in the produce aisle.
- You find yourself having conversations with your kids about uncomfortable topics that your parents never broached, thanks to the lack of informative afterschool specials.
- While browsing the wine section, you wistfully think how fantastic it would be if the labels were scratch-and-sniff stickers.
- Waking up in the middle of the night craving Pizzarias Chips or Jell-O Pudding Pops can feel like a cruel joke.
It’s frustrating when you just want to go where everybody knows your name, but the younger generation around you doesn’t have a clue about Cheers. So how do you cope with these ’80s-inspired First World Problems? Treat yourself to reruns of your favorite childhood shows on platforms like Netflix, and remember, you’re not alone in this nostalgic journey. Revive the best bits of your past and let those memories guide you. Even though some of the fashion trends are making a comeback, be smart and avoid wearing some of those questionable choices again. After all, these teenagers strutting around in neon jumpsuits on Instagram just don’t know any better, but we certainly do.
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In summary, the challenges faced by those of us raised in the ’80s may seem trivial to some, but they’re part of what makes our generation unique. Embrace the nostalgia, laugh at the absurdities, and cherish those memories.
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