Becoming a parent, I fully understood that I’d be needed—though I had no clue just how much. Keeping a child alive is a formidable task that tests both your body and mind. Yet, I chose to have another child, and then another, fully aware that my free time would dwindle. It’s a sacrifice we make for our families.
Some days, the constant neediness doesn’t bother me. I accept the ebb and flow of parenting; kids will always need their parents, no matter what they might say. But I also know that as they grow, their need for me will shift—eventually seeking friendships and writing their own narratives. Still, there are moments when I long for less dependency.
The idea of enjoying a favorite hobby without interruptions—no little hands tugging at me, no requests to open jars, or help with homework—feels almost alien. At times, I yearn to lock myself in the car or sneak away to a nearby hotel just to reconnect with myself. After more than 13 years of motherhood, I’ve realized that taking time for myself is essential, regardless of how fatigued I feel or how busy life gets.
Just the other night, while my family was peacefully asleep, I found myself up late chatting with a friend online. The night before, I fought to keep my eyes open while immersed in a captivating book. Sure, sleep would have been the sensible choice, but there’s something truly glorious about the silence of the house, my comforter wrapped around me, and the moonlight streaming through the window.
I’ve stayed up late sewing quilts, binge-watching HGTV until the early hours, or tackling home improvement projects when I should have been fast asleep. There’s a unique satisfaction in accomplishing tasks without distractions.
Each weekend, I face the choice of lingering in bed or taking a quiet run as the sun rises. Those peaceful moments allow me to clear my head while the kids rest. I can wander at my own pace, stopping to admire a field of cows or watching a family of turkeys, breathing in the fresh air. After this time alone, I return home feeling recharged and ready to engage with my family. I’ve discovered that trading sleep for “me time” often leaves me feeling refreshed rather than drained.
I love that my children need me; it’s a core part of motherhood, and I take pride in being present for them. But I also need to be present for myself. Mothers often go through their days partly disconnected from their own identities. Before kids, we were individuals with our own interests and passions. Yes, motherhood has transformed us, but it doesn’t erase who we were before. That version of me still exists, and it’s perfectly fine for her to surface now and then.
For me, those moments occur late at night, once the kids are tucked in and the house is quiet.
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Summary: Parenting demands a lot, leaving little room for personal time. However, many mothers find that late-night hours provide a much-needed escape for self-connection, creativity, and relaxation. Embracing these moments can lead to a more engaged and loving parenting experience.