Up until not long ago, I dreaded the nightly ritual of putting my kids to bed. Don’t get me wrong—I adore my children, but after a long day of parenting lasting 12 to 14 hours, I often find myself utterly exhausted. It’s as if my kids can sense my fatigue, and they suddenly become more needy than ever. They lose all focus, distracted by toys they ignored throughout the day, their sudden hunger pangs, or an irresistible urge to engage with our pets.
Somehow, they manage to get lost on their way to the bathroom. (Seriously, how does that even happen?) They suddenly develop an unquenchable thirst, and their creative sparks seem to ignite only after the sun goes down, demanding to finish their “masterpieces.” Bedtime transforms into a circus act of procrastination and diversion.
This chaos often leads to an absurdly prolonged bedtime routine filled with nagging, occasional yelling, and the ever-threatening promise of losing screen time indefinitely. Although I typically lean towards gentle parenting, by the time night falls, my patience is running thin. It feels like a scene from Lord of the Flies each evening at 8 p.m.—everyone for themselves.
However, once the chaos subsides and we finally settle down, something beautiful occurs. My kids have always wanted to snuggle, and those moments spent lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, have become some of the most cherished parts of my parenting journey. It’s during this time that they ask the most profound questions—about the universe, the essence of God, what people across the globe are thinking, and why some love broccoli while others despise it. When I join them in bed, they turn into little philosophers, and it’s genuinely amazing. Those late-night chats have sparked some of our most meaningful conversations.
It’s unfortunate that these discussions often happen when I’m completely drained and yearning for a moment of quiet. But I’ve come to realize that every moment counts with our little ones while we still have them. Faced with this understanding, I had a choice: continue despising bedtime or shift my perspective and embrace the magical moments that arise after navigating the inevitable chaos.
This change in mindset has truly worked in my favor. Instead of saying “Why do I have to remind you to brush your teeth again?” I now encourage them with, “Hurry and brush your teeth so we can snuggle!” Knowing they’ll get that one-on-one time for their big questions makes them eager to jump into bed.
To keep it manageable, I usually set a limit on the number of questions each child can ask, preventing our snuggle time from dragging on forever. (Let’s be real; I have a couple of night owls who could chat for hours.) But they don’t seem to mind this boundary. I’ve learned that quality time doesn’t need to be lengthy to be meaningful.
These bedtime snuggles also allow me to share stories from my life before kids, which they absolutely love. They ask about my childhood fears, moments when I felt left out, or dreams I had as a young adult. We exchange stories and feelings, giving them insight into their roots and the person raising them.
Instead of viewing bedtime as a chore, I’ve learned to see it as an opportunity to deepen our connection, free from the daily grind and responsibilities that usually fill our lives. By focusing on this aspect rather than the logistical hurdles of the bedtime routine (seriously, why is it so hard?), I find that bedtime is much less daunting and far more enjoyable for all of us.
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In summary, by shifting my perspective on bedtime from a dreaded chore to an opportunity for connection, I’ve made this nightly routine more enjoyable for myself and my children. It’s amazing how a simple shift in mindset can transform a stressful situation into cherished memories.