How to Discuss Scary Topics with Your Child Without Causing Fear

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By: Jenna Thompson
Updated: Dec. 18, 2023
Originally Published: Aug. 31, 2013

Every parent has that one anxiety—a particular fear that looms larger than life when it comes to their child. What keeps you awake at night? For some, it’s the thought of choking, drowning, or even abduction. Others might worry about accidents like pulling a hot pot off the stove or falling. These concerns are valid but can be overwhelming.

Take, for instance, my friend Lisa, a single mother to a spirited three-year-old. To teach her daughter about safety, she invented a game called the “911 Game.” Here’s how it played out:

Lisa: Hello, 911 operator, what seems to be the problem?
Three-year-old: Umm, my mommy! (we couldn’t help but chuckle)
Lisa: Is everything okay with your mommy? What’s her name?
Three-year-old: (she’d create scenarios like “she fell down”)
Lisa: Great! What’s your address, little girl?

This clever method helped Lisa ensure her daughter learned vital information like her address, phone number, and mom’s full name. In the event of an emergency—be it choking, fainting, or falling—she wanted her little one to know how to reach out for help. It got me thinking: how do kids typically learn to call 911? We’ve all heard stories about young heroes who saved their parents in urgent situations.

Unfortunately, many well-meaning parents unintentionally instill fear in their children with warnings like “Don’t talk to strangers.” However, research shows that 90% of harm to children occurs from someone they know. With around 6 million abuse cases reported annually, it’s clear that the majority of these incidents do not involve strangers.

Instead of solely focusing on fear, we should teach our kids to trust their instincts and recognize when something feels wrong. If your child hesitates to hug a relative, it’s crucial to listen to that feeling, whether it’s justified or not.

Beyond the topic of abduction, we should also prepare children for situations like getting lost. Did you know that 7 out of 10 kids will experience being lost at some point? Instead of telling them to seek out a police officer, a more effective approach is to instruct them to look for a mother with children, as they are often perceived as safe and approachable. Kids should also memorize their parent or caregiver’s name and phone number.

Empowering Our Children

Let’s focus on empowering our children to stay safe without overwhelming them. Here are some practical guidelines to follow, inspired by safety educator, Mia Johnson from SafeKids Academy:

1. Encourage kids to trust their “uh-oh” feelings.
2. Teach them to “check first” before going anywhere unfamiliar.
3. Instill in them that they are the “Boss of their Body” and no one has the right to hurt them.
4. Help them practice reciting their name, address, and phone number. If they’re too young to memorize it, consider using creative methods like a duct tape craft.
5. Explain that safe adults don’t ask kids for help.
6. Empower them to say no if something feels wrong—they don’t have to be polite in such cases.
7. Remind them that everyone’s private parts are just that—private.
8. If they get lost, advise them to freeze in place and yell or ask a mom with kids for assistance.

Arming yourself with the right tools to discuss these tough subjects can ease the burden of fear surrounding the conversation. Remember, this isn’t a one-time chat; it’s an ongoing exchange of knowledge. These tips will help ensure your children grow up happy, healthy, and safe. For more detailed guidance on related topics, check out this informative post on Cervical Insemination.

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In summary, it’s possible to discuss challenging topics with your children without instilling fear. By focusing on empowerment and open dialogue, you can effectively prepare them for various situations while maintaining a sense of safety and comfort.