My partner, Jake, isn’t perfect. He leaves his socks in the most random places and has a knack for getting lost even with GPS. He often overlooks the overflowing trash bin, and let’s not even talk about his legendary inability to find things in the fridge. But here’s the thing: he’s an incredible husband who loves me unconditionally—and he’s an even better dad.
I don’t just say that because he knows how to make our kids laugh or lets them pile on him like a jungle gym. I don’t just say that because he apologizes when he loses his cool, learns from his mistakes, and showers our kids with affection. I say it because he is always present. He shows up, day in and day out.
During those sleepless nights with our colicky newborns, he walked the floors while I caught a few much-needed z’s. When our little ones cried out, he was right there, ready to soothe them just as often as I was. From the very beginning, he understood that parenting was a shared responsibility. He never viewed childcare as something extra or as “helping out.” As a co-creator of our children, he embraced his role wholeheartedly—and he hasn’t wavered in that commitment.
Yet, this shouldn’t be remarkable. No matter their work status, fathers should prioritize their children. Maternity should not be the default, and dads shouldn’t be praised for merely doing their part.
Unfortunately, it seems that Jake is more of an exception than the rule. It’s astonishing that in 2023, I still hear tales of dads who need reminders to perform basic parenting tasks like changing diapers or taking kids to the park.
I work from home, and I often ask Jake and the kids to step out for a few hours so I can focus. You wouldn’t believe how often someone, usually another woman, praises him just for engaging in a simple conversation with our sons over lunch. Why is this noteworthy? It’s what parents are meant to do.
While I love that Jake is a proactive dad and deeply connected to our children, it’s disheartening that he stands out like a sore thumb. Thankfully, I know he’s not alone. There are many fathers out there who drop everything to be with their kids, prioritizing family over work when they can. These dads allow mothers to enjoy a moment of peace, whether it’s taking a long shower or having a night out with friends without feeling guilty. They understand that parenting is a full-time job and don’t clock out when they feel like it.
To all the dads doing their part, thank you. You are breaking stereotypes and setting a powerful example for future generations.
And for any moms feeling overwhelmed by a partner who isn’t pulling their weight, you don’t have to tolerate that. Speak up. Communicate your needs. Your partner is not just a babysitter; he’s a co-parent.
And for those dads who realize they could step up more, today is the perfect time to start. Embrace the challenge of becoming more engaged in your children’s lives. The benefits will be felt by your kids and your partner alike.
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In summary, let’s celebrate the dads who take their parenting responsibilities seriously. They are paving the way for a future where childcare is a shared endeavor, benefiting families everywhere.