In light of the millions of women who took part in the Women’s Marches recently, a Facebook post by a woman named Jenna has gained significant traction. It appears that a notable number of women resonate with her sentiments.
To summarize: Jenna asserts that she has no need for this march. Why should any woman require it? This is America, she claims, and she has everything she needs. If others don’t, it’s their own fault, and marching won’t change that reality.
Here’s my response to Jenna, and by extension, to all the women who share her viewpoint:
Hi, Jenna. While we may not know each other, your #NotMyMarch post has been circulating widely today. It popped up in my feed, thanks to several friends who agree with your perspective.
In some ways, our lives may not be all that different. I’ll admit I’m making assumptions—perhaps incorrectly—but I’m a college-educated professional mom living in a safe neighborhood surrounded by beautiful trees. My days are filled with typical suburban activities: my kids enjoy warm breakfasts before school, and I either head to work or the gym. I even have groceries delivered. As a single mom, my life can get chaotic, yet I’m grateful for all that we have. I fully recognize that there are women in this country who lack even a fraction of what I possess, and no amount of effort on their part will change that. It’s not about trying hard enough.
Jenna, I want to pose a crucial question to you. Excluding the cashier at the grocery store—who watches you swipe your card for your latest $200 Target run—or the barista who hands you your grande latte that you paid for using an app on your phone—when was the last time you engaged in a meaningful conversation with a woman whose life isn’t strikingly similar to yours? Take your time to ponder that.
You mentioned feeling like a “disgrace to women” for not supporting the march. That opening line cleverly invites solidarity from those who may feel similarly, much like saying, “I know I’m out of shape,” so your friends rally to reassure you.
You claim your voice is heard and that you’re not a second-class citizen. So what’s the issue, right? I’m making assumptions again, but perhaps your sense of being heard comes from a lack of understanding about what it feels like to be unheard. You don’t perceive yourself as a second-class citizen because you’ve never experienced that reality.
You feel in control of your body. I do too; in fact, I’m scheduled for my annual wellness exams next week, which are covered by my insurance. However, a few years back, my doctor suggested an IUD for better birth control, but my insurance didn’t cover it. It would have cost me $1,000. Other methods were fully covered, but they were not suitable for my health needs, so I opted to forgo the IUD. Sure, I could have paid it, but it felt unfair that it was the only option with a hefty price tag. I didn’t need the IUD to prevent pregnancy, but that’s a different discussion.
Have you ever postponed an annual exam because your child needed shoes, forcing you to make a tough choice? Not everyone has access to free reproductive healthcare in this country. Have you ever stopped using birth control because your local clinic closed, and the nearest one is too far, especially when you’re juggling two jobs and a single car?
Have you ever faced sexual violence? Been threatened by an ex? Felt unsafe in your surroundings? If so, did you truly have control over your body in those moments? I doubt this needs further elaboration, but perhaps it does. Violence against women transcends socioeconomic status. It might be occurring right in your neighborhood. When women are assaulted—however broadly defined—they have no control over when or where the violence occurs.
You’ve mentioned that anyone can seek employment. You’re fortunate, and so am I. I don’t need to “ask for permission” to work (some women in this country do). I don’t have the burden of feeling trapped in a cycle of poverty due to a lack of opportunities or skills. There are countless women who desperately want to work but are held back by childcare costs. Do you know anyone facing these barriers?
You can vote, and so can I. I made it a point to engage more during the last election and even worked at a polling station. I was the one checking IDs and helping voters navigate the process. I witnessed firsthand how many people were eager to participate in democracy, yet many faced obstacles that prevented them from voting.
You claim you feel heard. I do too. But consider how it would feel to live with the struggles I’ve mentioned above, all while feeling invisible. If your senator were to prioritize a lobbyist’s interests over your needs, or if budget cuts impacted your child’s school or community clinic, imagine how that would feel. What if your life was one where no one cared, and people on social media dismissed your challenges as poor choices?
You assert that the only person who can stop you is yourself. I feel the same way about my life. I was raised in a supportive environment, as I suspect you were too. We often take that for granted, not realizing others may not have the same privileges, which can lead to a cycle of hopelessness and despair.
And yes, I acknowledge that terrible things happen to women globally—in places like Pakistan, Mali, and Guatemala. I empathize with their suffering. However, that’s a separate discussion. There are many women right here in our own country who are also in need, and they deserve attention in their own right.
This brings me back to the Women’s March. I didn’t march because I feel marginalized; I marched because I can, and many women can’t, even if you don’t see them. I marched for the women who face unique challenges—whether they are mothers raising children with same-sex partners who must navigate legal hurdles or young girls who drop out of school due to financial pressures. I marched for survivors of sexual violence who carry their trauma in silence.
I even marched for you, Jenna, even if you feel you don’t need anyone to march on your behalf.
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In summary, we must acknowledge that while our experiences may differ, understanding and empathy are crucial for creating a more inclusive dialogue about women’s rights and the challenges they face.