My 6-Year-Old Son Has a Girlfriend, and I’m Totally Fine With It

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By: Emily Johnson

My son has a girlfriend. Yes, you read that right. They first met at a homeschool gathering, and when I caught a glimpse of them together, I couldn’t resist asking him her name. “Lia,” he replied — a significant moment because he typically doesn’t bother remembering names. I suspect he has friends he’s known for ages but can only describe them as “You know, that girl with the big glasses whose mom teaches science at co-op.”

Curious to know more, I reached out to Lia’s mom, who turned out to be surprisingly down-to-earth and quite lovely. “And Lia has a skateboard just like me!” my son, Jake, exclaimed as he dashed past. That sparked a conversation about skateboarding, a shared passion between us. As it turns out, they not only vibe well together but also share similar interests, from their love for bizarre animated series (the latest version of Scooby Doo, a quirky secret agent show, and Doctor Who) to being gluten-intolerant. They even believe in the Loch Ness monster! It seems like a perfect match.

Jake even popped the question during one of their skateboarding sessions. They haven’t settled on a wedding date yet (he’s pushing for sooner, while she prefers later), but he insists, “…she totally said ‘yes,’ Mom.”

Let’s not forget, both Jake and Lia are just 6 years old.

I’ve always had my reservations about childhood romance. I believed it contributes to the premature sexualization of kids. What follows after calling someone a boyfriend or girlfriend? I remember my cousin kissing her crush in kindergarten, and we were all green with envy. I never kissed my preschool sweetheart, Thomas, but I sure wanted to. Sure, it’s all innocent — no one is getting hot and heavy on the jungle gym — but there’s this implied expectation that boyfriends and girlfriends share kisses. I never wanted my child to think he could kiss anyone outside of family.

Moreover, I genuinely thought that kids should channel their imagination into running around, pretending to be superheroes or embarking on wild adventures, rather than worrying about marriage — which, by the way, Jake proposed to Lia while they were off on their skateboards. (For the record, there were adults supervising, and they were both wearing their helmets, so safety was not a concern.)

Initially, I found the concept of grade-school romances a bit unsettling. It felt like it communicated to girls that their ultimate goal was to grow up, snag an MRS degree, don a wedding dress, and start a family. I didn’t want my son to inadvertently push that narrative onto Lia. It felt like my responsibility to intervene.

But then I observed them.

Jake and Lia truly enjoy each other’s company. They pretend to be detectives solving mysteries, play chef in their toy kitchen, and run around together. Their interactions are innocent and friendly — the closest thing to a couple-y act was them snapping pictures of one another with their moms’ phones. During their last skateboarding trip, they moved down the path together, making sure to have an adult join them for safety. They splashed around and chatted, but there was no talk of babies or wedding plans. They simply labeled each other as “boyfriend and girlfriend” because that’s what they’ve seen adults do.

If you were to ask Jake, he’d tell you Lia is his best friend, and I’ve heard her say the same. The idea of marrying her is just a whimsical thought. They don’t share kisses, but yes, they hold hands (which Jake does with everyone). I doubt they’re going to sneak off for a secret kiss anytime soon.

And that’s the type of elementary school relationship I can comfortably embrace.

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Summary

In a light-hearted narrative, a mother reflects on her 6-year-old son’s budding friendship with a girl named Lia. Initially wary of childhood romance, she observes their innocent interactions and realizes that their relationship is simply a manifestation of friendship, free from the pressures of adult expectations. The piece explores the balance between childhood innocence and societal perceptions of relationships.

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