I’ve always had a distaste for confrontation. It’s a feeling that has lingered since childhood. I often worried about others’ opinions, leading me to remain silent during conflicts. I vividly recall an incident when I was around 10 years old. My mom had given me money to buy frozen yogurt from TCBY while she waited at a nearby table. As I stood in line, a teenager abruptly cut in front of me. I froze, terrified of making a scene. To my horror, my mother marched up to the girl and exclaimed, “Excuse me, my daughter has been waiting in line!” I could barely muster a quiet “Mooommm” as the girl reluctantly stepped back. The frozen yogurt I enjoyed tasted like ash in my mouth.
“Speak up for yourself,” my mom advised, a lesson she imparted time and again.
Fast forward nearly two decades, and I’ve made some strides in finding my voice. If a barista at Dunkin’ gives me a splash of skim milk instead of a generous pour, I’ll ask for more. If a taxi driver attempts to overcharge me, I’ll assert my stance. I’ve become slightly more assertive, but I still shy away from drawing attention to myself.
Everything changed when I became pregnant. While being pregnant for the first time is exhilarating, it’s also filled with questions and self-doubt. I immersed myself in research to ensure I was doing everything right for my little poppy seed, who was already cherished beyond measure.
Before my initial doctor’s appointment, I compiled a list of questions to discuss. Some may have seemed trivial, but as a first-time mom, I yearned for reassurance. I bravely tackled the easier questions first, but when it came time to ask the more uncomfortable ones, I felt old habits creeping back in. With the doctor glancing at the clock and my anxiety mounting, I almost retreated into silence. However, the new, assertive version of me prevailed. This was about my baby’s health, and I refused to back down.
I asked about having a few glasses of wine before realizing I was pregnant. I inquired about sleeping on my stomach at just eight weeks along. I even questioned whether my heart rate during exercise was too high, all while battling the fear of being labeled paranoid. But guess what? The world didn’t end. The doctor didn’t dismiss me. Instead, I left the office feeling empowered with the answers I sought.
Fast forward eight months, and my daughter was born. Suddenly, I found myself in a world where everyone believed they were a parenting expert. I embraced their advice—some helpful, some not—and pushed aside my apprehensions. The truth is, only I am the expert on raising my child.
Did some visitors seem put out when I requested they wash their hands before holding my newborn? Yes. Did they act offended when I stepped away to breastfeed? Absolutely. Did I receive unsolicited advice and judgment about my choices? Without a doubt. But did I care? Not in the slightest.
If my daughter ever finds herself in a similar situation where someone cuts in line, you can bet I’ll be the fiercely protective mom who stands up for her. In the meantime, I’ll teach her that being assertive is not synonymous with being rude, and that the only opinions worth considering are her own.
For more insights on this journey, you can explore other posts like this one here or check out Women’s Health for excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination. If you’re interested in at-home insemination kits, this online retailer offers reputable options to consider.
In summary, my pregnancy journey has transformed my perspective on asserting myself. No longer will I shy away from speaking up for my needs or my child’s well-being. I’ve learned that being vocal is empowering, and I am determined to instill that strength in my daughter.