As a father of three girls, I find myself often reflecting on their futures, especially now that my eldest is preparing to enter college. I sometimes worry that I haven’t equipped her with everything she needs, but I hope to continue making a difference by engaging her in meaningful conversations and addressing her questions about life.
If I were to distill my advice for her and my other daughters into a few key principles, they would be as follows:
Self-Reliance
You are not defined by anyone else’s expectations or roles—mother, daughter, sister, wife, or girlfriend. Each individual must learn to stand on their own and shoulder their own responsibilities. You came into this world surrounded by love, and if you lead a fulfilling life, you’ll leave it surrounded by those you love. Remember, you are in control of your body and your sexuality; make choices that feel right for you, and never let anyone dictate what you should do with your physical self. Even when challenges arise, your mind will be your greatest asset. Invest in your education and personal growth.
Perseverance
Growing up, you may have had the impression that your parents had it all figured out, but that’s far from the truth. We’ve stumbled countless times, but we’ve learned the importance of resilience and hope from our own parents. You must cultivate that same perseverance. Never give up or lose hope; your existence is a testament to the strength of generations that came before you. Embrace your failures as stepping stones to improvement. Remember, you are privileged in ways that your ancestors could only dream of.
Relationships
The people you surround yourself with can significantly impact your life. Choose friends who inspire and uplift you. While it might seem daunting to be around those who excel in various aspects, it’s essential to learn from them. Relationships should be about mutual growth—find someone who challenges you and whom you can teach in return. Be selective in matters of the heart; love transcends gender and should be about building a family, whether that includes children or not. If you choose to have kids, promise to provide them with a life even better than the one you experienced. If children aren’t in your plans, channel your love into nurturing those in need or creating something meaningful that leaves a legacy.
Intoxication
Engaging in substances like alcohol or drugs is a common part of society, but it comes with risks. Learn your limits and understand that intoxication can lead to poor decisions and dangerous situations. If you choose to drink, do so responsibly and always in the company of trusted friends. Avoid making decisions or communicating with people who aren’t physically present when under the influence. Remember to prioritize your safety and reach out to me or your other parent if you ever feel uncomfortable or unsafe.
Financial Literacy
Understanding money is crucial for a fulfilling life. Take the time to learn about investing, saving, and earning. Ask successful individuals for their insights and never hesitate to seek knowledge until you truly understand financial matters. Save a portion of everything you earn and start investing as you gain confidence. Treat investing not just as saving, but as a way to build your future. Avoid debt and establish boundaries with friends regarding lending. Your time and health are also forms of wealth—cherish them as you would your finances.
In summary, life will become easier if you learn to depend on yourself and your intellect, view failures as opportunities for growth, cultivate healthy relationships, approach intoxicants with caution, and master the art of managing money. It may seem like a lot to absorb, but if you stay focused, you’ll navigate life’s challenges successfully.
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