When I was around 10 years old, my best friend, Mia, appeared on the local news. We both attended a community event that got a bit of media attention, and they chose to feature her in their segment. That evening, our families gathered to watch the news, and everyone cheered when Mia appeared on screen — except for me. I sulked in the other room.
Why did she steal the spotlight? Why couldn’t I be on TV too? Wasn’t I impressive enough?
I sulked for a bit until my parents found me. When they finally figured out why I was being such a grump, they sympathized — for a moment. Then, they firmly told me to get over myself and celebrate Mia’s achievement. After all, we were family. Her moment of glory (and let’s be real, it was just local news in a small town) didn’t diminish who I was or what I could accomplish.
I wish I could say that my parents’ advice magically solved everything and that I never experienced envy again, but that would be untrue. Just the other day, I spotted another mom at school wearing the most stylish, figure-hugging leggings I’d ever seen. I envied her trendy look and the way she seemed so put together at 8:45 in the morning while I was rocking a pair of worn-out sweatpants and a messy ponytail. Let’s be real, I even envied her perky rear end.
As we age, it seems like we develop a more carefree attitude. I care less about fitting in with the “in crowd” and can brush off nonsense like a pro. Most days, I feel quite comfortable in my own skin, and I might even dare to say there are moments when I feel like a fierce trailblazer. But I can’t claim that this carefree attitude is all-encompassing. I still encounter self-doubt and envy, just like everyone else. Anyone who claims to be immune to these feelings is, quite frankly, not being honest.
I find myself in the “working on it” category. I’m improving at dismissing the pangs of jealousy, yet there’s still progress to be made. One thing I’ve learned is that ignoring or suppressing these feelings only amplifies the problem. Instead of vanishing, the envy intensifies, leaving you with a messy blend of jealousy, anger, and shame. Recognizing those feelings is the first step toward moving past them.
Not long ago, I watched a video featuring Samantha Brown, who candidly shared her jealousy when a friend secured a job opportunity she also wanted. It was refreshing to realize that even accomplished women can experience self-doubt and envy — which makes me feel less ashamed about my own feelings toward that mom’s leggings or my colleague’s success.
However, acknowledging envy is one thing; taking action on it is another. Brown advises sharing your feelings with someone, but warns against letting those feelings dictate your actions. “I never dim someone else’s light to make mine shine brighter,” she wisely states. In simpler terms, don’t be a jerk.
Though it may sound cliché, practicing gratitude and kindness can work wonders. We’ve all heard someone suggest we “count our blessings” in tough times — to which I’ve often wanted to retort, “Count these fingers, you irritating know-it-all.” But honestly, it’s solid advice. Taking time to appreciate the good in my life while baking cookies for my family does wonders for my mood. Doing something nice for others can lift me out of my self-pity, and a few compliments about my cookie-making skills don’t hurt either. Plus, who doesn’t love the comforting taste of cookie dough?
Strangely enough, once I navigate the murky waters of self-doubt and jealousy, I often find valuable lessons hidden beneath the negativity. If I compliment that stylish mom, I might discover where chic moms buy their leggings (and spoiler alert: they’re probably from LuLaRoe). Observing a colleague’s achievements can give me the nudge I need to strive for improvement.
And when all else fails, I channel my inner Stuart Smalley with some motivational self-talk. It might sound cheesy, but we are all remarkable in our own ways, and there’s more than enough to go around. We’re all in this together. As Brown reminds us, “There’s always a space for you because no one is exactly like you.”
In short, you’re a beautiful badass, so never forget it! If you’re looking for more insights, check out our post on intracervicalinsemination.org. And if you’re considering at-home insemination, Make a Mom offers reputable syringe kits to help you on your journey. For additional information on pregnancy and home insemination, visit WebMD.