As I’ve journeyed through life, I’ve learned to embrace certain truths about myself. For one, I prefer my coffee at a lukewarm temperature, and let’s just say I’m not a fan of smoothies or kale. Finding jeans that fit my curvy shape is always a challenge, and turtlenecks? They make me look like I have no neck whatsoever. I’m impatient, dramatic, and a bit edgy. And yes, I have a vocabulary that could rival any tattooed, leather-clad biker when it comes to swearing.
In short, I drop the f-bomb—loudly and frequently.
Some folks might label my choice of language as crass, undignified, or even unladylike. But frankly, I couldn’t care less. My reserve of concern for others’ opinions has run dry. What I do have in abundance, however, is a knack for expressing my disregard in wonderfully inventive ways.
Swearing is simply part of my identity. Asking me to stop is akin to asking me to give up my coffee or my beloved leggings. That’s just not going to happen, so let’s cut to the chase.
I’m intelligent and compassionate. I have a good sense of humor, I’m gentle, and I forgive easily. But you know what? I also swear like there’s no tomorrow, and I’m not apologizing for it.
Why should it matter to you if I choose to use profanity? As long as I’m not using it to insult you, my swearing isn’t harmful or aggressive. Honestly, there are moments that are such disasters that a “gosh darn it” simply won’t suffice. Those are the times when a well-placed expletive—or even some creative phrases like “crapweasel” or “frickin’ A”—are absolutely necessary.
Nothing is more cathartic than a string of colorful curse words after some jerk in a flashy car cuts you off or when an oblivious stranger asks about your due date (especially when you’re definitely not expecting). For me, swearing is a stress reliever, just as some people find solace in knitting. We all have our own ways of coping.
Moreover, swearing can be liberating and downright fun. Surprisingly, research indicates that using foul language is often a sign of intelligence. It takes a clever mind to navigate the many variations of the word “jerk” (like “jerkwad” and “jerkface”) and to wield “f***” as a noun, verb, adjective, and adverb. (For example: I absolutely love swearing, and it’s ridiculous to think that I’m somehow failing because I use “f***” frequently.)
And no, I’m not damaging my children by letting them hear me curse. Research shows that they learn there is an appropriate time and place for such language. It’s not like I’m shouting profanities at a school event or during church services.
Some people embrace swearing, while others do not. If you choose not to use it, that’s completely fine. Just as we all have different tastes in music or food—like how I can’t stand jazz and prefer a vegetarian diet—we all have our unique preferences. I won’t judge you for munching on a burger while I’m over here enjoying my salad, so let’s keep it civil.
Recently, a friend of mine surprised me with a gift. She mentioned I was the “perfect person” for it. It turned out to be a mug that reads, “I don’t spew profanities. I enunciate them like a lady.” It’s now my favorite mug, even though I was in the midst of lecturing my son about cutting back on his own swearing when I opened it—but that’s a story for another time.
Life is already challenging without the pressure to pretend to be someone I’m not. I’m a confident, nearly 40-year-old woman who detests kale, avoids yoga, and unabashedly enjoys saying “ass,” “shit,” “damn,” and “f***.” I’m not a bad person; I simply feel free enough to express myself authentically. Life is too short, and swearing brings me a sense of relief.
So, in essence, I’m a fierce individual who embraces the art of swearing and delights in the joy it brings. You might want to give it a shot sometime—it could be quite liberating.
If you’re interested in exploring more about this topic, check out this insightful blog post. And if you’re looking for resources on pregnancy and home insemination, the CDC offers excellent information here for those considering at-home insemination.
In summary, swearing is not just a personal preference but a part of who I am. It’s a way to cope with life’s absurdities and express my emotions without fear. Embrace who you are and let loose!
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