Parenting
By Melanie Carter
Updated: Oct. 22, 2023
Originally Published: Nov. 21, 2016
My three children generally get along quite well. They engage in games, share laughter, and express their love for each other. But, as any parent with multiple kids knows, sibling rivalry is inevitable. Just think of the ancient tale of Cain and Abel.
Reflecting on my own childhood, I remember bickering with my brother, despite our close bond. Our arguments often revolved around perceived unfairness, like shouting, “Mom! Jake’s touching me!” from the back seat. I now understand my mother’s exasperation.
My kids have squabbled over an endless list of trivial matters, but here are the highlights:
Who Received More
Whether it’s a drop of juice, a spoonful of ice cream, or even a crumb of cookie, my children possess an uncanny ability to judge portion sizes with laser precision. If they feel even slightly slighted, one of them will inevitably exclaim, “Why did she get more than meeee?” My favorite retort is, “Because I love her more than you. Duh!” But I find Louis C.K.’s take even better: “You only look in your neighbor’s bowl to ensure they have enough, not to see if you have as much.” Mic drop, kids!
Whose Turn Is It?
“It’s my turn to ring the doorbell!” “It’s my turn to push the elevator button!” “It’s her turn to sit next to Mom!” “It’s his turn to feed the dog!” I’ve spent countless hours devising ways to avoid my children taking turns, needing a spreadsheet to track who last pressed the elevator button. (By the way, the inside buttons are far more coveted.) When they argue about whose turn it is, I love to declare, “It’s Mommy’s turn!” and take over myself—except for the dog feeding; that’s all on them.
Funny Looks
Who knew that a simple gaze could wield so much power? “She stared at me!” “Stop looking at me like that!” “He always gives me that look!” Ugh! I remind them that they don’t have to engage with the person looking at them—just look away. When that fails, I unleash my goofy cross-eyed stare, utilizing my Crazy Mommy powers. It might give them nightmares, but it sure is entertaining!
Laughter Wars
While my kids love to share a laugh, everything can go awry when one of them finds humor in a sibling’s bad mood. They seem to thrive on being annoyed when their brother or sister is happy. “You’re laughing at me!” they’ll shout, and while it may have some truth, convincing them is a lost cause.
Imaginary Destruction
One day, my daughter rushed into the room, tears streaming down her face. “What’s wrong?” I asked. “He killed my waaahhhhh!” “What did he kill?” “My imaginary dragon!” Ah, the tragedy of imaginary loss. Many pretend creatures and castles have been casualties of sibling rivalry in our home. I simply hug them until they calm down and come up with another imaginary friend. You can’t reason with fantasy.
Mommy Tug-of-War
My children also love to compete for my attention, the ultimate prize: me, the Almighty Mommy. It’s like a primal instinct to be closest to me. If one snuggles up, the other must follow. They rarely overtly argue about me, likely knowing that wouldn’t end well. But you can feel the silent struggle over who gets the closest proximity to Mom.
Sibling disputes are a natural part of growing up. I just hope that when they reach adulthood, they won’t argue over who looked at whom or who got to press the elevator button last. Fingers crossed!
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In summary, sibling rivalry is a universal experience that can be as amusing as it is frustrating. Ultimately, these squabbles are part of the journey of growing up together, building bonds that may one day lead to lifelong friendships.
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