Once my kids become familiar with someone, their personalities shine bright. They compete for attention, dancing, singing, and enthusiastically explaining their toys and how they work. It’s heartwarming to witness their joy and affection towards my friends.
However, when it comes to meeting new people, my children don’t exactly roll out the red carpet. They tend to be shy at first—a natural and perfectly normal response to encountering strangers. Sadly, not everyone understands this. There are individuals, including old friends and even family, who feel compelled to “break the ice” in ways that often make my kids uncomfortable.
Take, for instance, Charlie, an acquaintance I hadn’t seen in ages. When we bumped into each other at the supermarket, he smiled at my children and asked them their names and ages. When my kids chose to hide behind me rather than engage, Charlie took it personally, saying, “Oh, do you not like me?” or “Am I really that intimidating?” Such comments do nothing to help a shy child feel more at ease. His follow-up question, “Are you just shy?” dripped with judgment, as if shyness were a flaw rather than a simple personality trait.
Here’s the truth: It’s perfectly okay for kids to be shy. In fact, it’s a healthy response. Remember the concept of “stranger danger”? I’d much rather my children exercise caution around unfamiliar faces than be overly trusting. It can take time for some kids to feel comfortable, and I wish more people recognized and respected that.
When strangers press for hugs or high-fives from my children, it triggers my protective instincts. No one is entitled to affection from my kids. If my daughter opts out of sitting next to someone, that’s her choice. If my son decides he doesn’t want to give a high-five, that’s perfectly fine too. Children should never feel pressured to do something that makes them uncomfortable, and we all need to respect their boundaries.
If a child appears shy in your presence, simply be kind and respectful. Don’t push them to engage; it’s not about you. You can survive without a 4-year-old showering you with affection. If a toddler runs away when you say goodbye, it’s not a reflection on you; it’s just who they are. Shyness is not a flaw—it’s merely a characteristic.
In truth, spending time with shy kids has its perks. Once they warm up to you, they’ll likely never leave your side until you depart! There’s always a silver lining in the journey of parenting.
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In summary, let’s embrace and respect the unique qualities of shy children. They bring a different kind of charm that’s worth celebrating, even if it takes a bit longer for them to shine.
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