Let’s not beat around the bush: I’m not great at decorating. There, I said it.
My home is cozy enough—neither too large nor too small—but it certainly doesn’t resemble anything you’d find on a home improvement show like HGTV. Unless, of course, it was featured in one of those “before and after” segments from shows like Fixer Upper.
Picture this: the artwork in our living room is perpetually askew. There’s a magazine cutout of a baseball player taped over a family photo, courtesy of my son’s creative instincts. The centerpiece on our dining table? It’s still cluttered with seashells from a half-hearted attempt at seasonal decor, even though we’re deep into October and practically drowning in decorative gourd season.
And when guests enter our family room, the first question is often, “Why do you have a donkey on your wall?” Yes, indeed, there’s a picture of a donkey taped alongside a collage of family portraits.
So, yeah, I’m not winning any decorating awards. And honestly, I’m okay with that. Well, maybe not completely. I sometimes wish I could channel my inner design guru, but let’s be honest, I also envy those with perfect abs and flawless skin. That kind of perfection is just not in the cards for me, mainly because I have kids and pets. My mantra? “This is why we can’t have nice things.”
Let’s face it: I’m also a bit lazy. The thought of spending hours searching for matching throw pillows doesn’t excite me, nor do I have the energy to figure out if shiplap would even work in our home. What even is shiplap, anyway? Apparently, it’s the latest trend, but I’m blissfully ignorant.
Even if I had the time and inclination to decorate like it’s a Pottery Barn catalog, I’m not interested in nagging my kids to keep their feet off a pristine white couch or to remove their toys from the faux-gourd centerpiece. I’m already busy reminding them a million times to brush their teeth and to put their dirty clothes in the laundry chute that’s literally right outside their room.
I can’t muster the energy to care whether the hand towels in the bathroom stay pristine. And let’s get real—I don’t even have a guest bathroom! I share one with three males, and I’d be thrilled just to have a toilet seat that stays down and a toilet paper roll that gets changed.
And here’s a confession: I’m not a fan of HGTV. Yes, I know that’s controversial, but it serves as a constant reminder of how I’m falling short in the decorating department—and, let’s be honest, in adulthood too. I could turn on the channel feeling content with my simple home life, but within minutes, I’m filled with self-doubt, questioning all my life choices and feeling a sudden urge to rush to the hardware store to tackle DIY projects.
I’m not disparaging HGTV or anyone who finds joy in home improvement—if browsing through Lowe’s on a Saturday night or binge-watching design shows is your jam, go for it! But as much as I admire your stylish living space, I’m more of a minimalist who gets overwhelmed by too many choices. Plus, anytime I try to spruce up one area, the rest of the house just looks even more haphazard. Where does it end?
So there you have it: I’m not a decorating whiz, and with each passing year, I care less and less. My home resembles a toy store—think less Pottery Barn and more the discount aisle of Toys“R”Us. My bedroom furniture is older than my marriage. And as for distinguishing between paint shades like ecru and alabaster? Forget it.
And to top it all off, I still have no idea what shiplap is.
If you’re looking for more insights into home decor or parenting, check out this related blog post.
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Summary
In a light-hearted take on home decor struggles, the author candidly admits to their lack of decorating skills, humorously recounting the chaos of family life that keeps them from creating a picture-perfect space. They reflect on the overwhelming nature of home improvement shows while embracing their minimalist approach and accepting their unique home environment.
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