Updated: July 2, 2020
Originally Published: September 14, 2016
A Type A mom? Not me—far from it, actually. If I were to grade myself, I’d probably land around a C+ based on societal standards. However, if the “Not-So-Perfect Moms” or “Real Mommies” were to evaluate my mothering skills, I’d soar off the charts. Honestly, those are the moms I want in my circle.
When the haze of postpartum depression lifted and I came to terms (thank you, therapy) with the fact that I wouldn’t become the ultimate super mom—master of breastfeeding, DIY crafts, and daily homemade meals, all while loving playdates and birthday parties—my best friend dubbed me the Three-Hour Mom. It’s a title I wear with pride.
You see, I’m good for about three hours at a time. I’m coining this concept “interval parenting.” After three hours, I need a little break—a nap, a glass of wine, or just a moment to breathe before the next round begins. Sometimes those three hours are blissful, filled with hugs, laughter, and sweet moments where my kiddo declares, “Mommy, I love you.” Other times? They’re packed with cries, tantrums, and an endless chorus of “Mommy, Mommy, Mommy.”
After numerous three-hour intervals, I often find myself yearning for a vacation—an adult getaway. Let’s be real, sometimes just a few days of solitude sounds like paradise. Imagine checking into a hotel solo, free from the tiny humans and the sometimes adult-like partner you share your space with. You step into your room and see a bed that could accommodate your entire family—but it’s just for you.
Without hesitation, you slip into a plush robe and crawl under the crisp, clean sheets you didn’t have to wash. You drift off to sleep, maybe wake up and nap again. When you finally rouse, you order room service, relishing the luxury of someone else preparing and delivering your meal. You enjoy every bite, savoring that brownie sundae without having to discreetly devour it.
As you bask in your food coma, it’s time for a Netflix binge. And by that, I mean the genuine, adult kind of Netflix and chill—watching shows while lounging in bed. You wake up the next day without the sound of an alarm, maybe sleeping in until a luxurious hour. Whether you venture out or repeat the day is entirely up to you.
When you return to the realm of motherhood, you feel revitalized, ready to embrace your roles anew. But then, just three hours later, that renewed energy fades, and you find yourself pleading for your son to watch his favorite show while you sit exhausted on the couch. Your partner comes home, and suddenly you’re struck with a “migraine,” needing him to step in and handle the endless demands of your child and his own. And honestly, who knows what he did while you were away? At least you don’t have the energy to worry about it.
Although I proudly wear my Three-Hour Mom crown, it does bring a personal conflict—the desire to be an engaging, present mother while also craving independence. I know I can be both, but sometimes I lean more toward the latter. I strive to be fully present with my family, even if that means letting the TV entertain my son while I cuddle next to him or scheduling playdates so I can connect with adults.
My son’s happiness is essential, and for him to feel loved, he needs to see me happy. Happy mom equals happy child. To achieve that, I prioritize my Three-Hour Mom breaks whenever possible. School and camp can work wonders for this. While he learns valuable lessons and social skills, I sneak in yoga sessions, catch up with friends over lunch, or run errands solo. Trust me, shopping without kids feels like a mini vacation—who doesn’t love a blissful trip to the grocery store or Target, just to themselves?
Every few months, I make it a point to take a short solo trip, whether it’s heading to New York a few days early for a family trip or enjoying a girls’ weekend with college friends. Next month, I’m looking forward to Campowerment—a four-day retreat that’s just for me.
I do this unapologetically. Some of my friends who hesitate to leave their kids joke that I got all my guilt out during that initial year of motherhood (thanks again, postpartum depression). As mothers, wives, and women, we invest so much in others that it’s crucial to carve out time for ourselves. Alone time makes me a better woman, a better partner, and a better mom.
Some might dismiss the Three-Hour Mom concept as laziness, but I know my limits and what I need. My happiness and sanity are paramount. I’m just as significant as my child. Together, we share our universe, and I embrace my identity as the Three-Hour Mom without any apologies. I encourage you to give it a shot!
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Summary:
This blog post explores the concept of “Interval Parenting,” embracing the idea of being a “Three-Hour Mom” who prioritizes sanity and self-care amidst the chaos of motherhood. It emphasizes the importance of taking breaks to recharge, enjoy adult time, and return to parenting with renewed energy. Ultimately, it advocates for mothers to recognize their own needs as integral to their children’s happiness.
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