The most beneficial decision I made today was to ignore my little boy.
Yes, it’s true that at just two years old, he relies on me for meals, getting dressed, and even using the bathroom. While I am his primary caregiver, today I opted to step back.
Before you rush to label me as a neglectful parent or a lazy caregiver, let me clarify: my toddler still has a lot to learn, and I was merely a room away.
Like many days, my son wanted nothing more than my undivided attention. While feeling adored and needed is certainly rewarding, this intensity can quickly become overwhelming. By mid-morning, amidst a sea of toys, I found my energy waning.
Frustration began to creep in, evident in my tone and sighs. I recited the usual responses: “In a minute,” “But you have so many toys,” “Just give me a moment,” “We can play soon,” and “You just need to wait.” But my son, undeterred, kept pestering me, and I was left grappling with guilt. Was I really a terrible mother? Did he hear “Mommy doesn’t want to play with you” or “You’re not important”?
I had thought that after two children, I’d have it all figured out. Yet my youngest challenges me more than ever. Like any parent, my goal is to ensure my children feel loved and happy. However, I’ve come to realize that it’s not solely my job to keep them happy; that’s an inside job we all must learn.
With that understanding, I made a conscious effort to truly listen to my toddler. Though he tugged at my hand, pleading “Mommy, play with me,” I recognized his underlying request for entertainment and happiness. As the youngest sibling, he’s used to joining in on the fun rather than leading it. With his older siblings at school, it’s easy for him to expect me to continuously provide entertainment.
Today, after dedicating some time to his favorite games, I made the firm choice to step back. When he asked me to play again, I calmly explained that I had a task to finish, suggesting he either help me or find a game on his own.
Then, something beautiful unfolded. After just a few uninterrupted moments, my toddler became completely engrossed in a game of pretend. The look of pure contentment on his face was priceless. It wasn’t just a smile; it was a genuine sparkle in his eyes. He had discovered his own happiness, all by himself.
Maybe I’m not such a bad mother after all.
For more insights on parenting and navigating these challenges, check out this post. If you’re exploring your own fertility journey, consider visiting Make a Mom, a trusted provider of at-home insemination kits. For valuable information on pregnancy and infertility, the CDC offers excellent resources.
In summary, sometimes stepping back can foster growth and independence in our children, revealing their ability to find joy on their own.
Leave a Reply