Dear Observant Stranger,
You likely don’t remember my family or me, but your judgment was immediate and clear. “We would never let our kids be glued to screens during family meals,” you said to your partner, glancing our way. In that moment, it became apparent that you would never allow your future children to behave as mine did. I’m sure you moved on with your day, not giving it another thought, while I was left to digest your words alongside my meal.
I completely understand where you’re coming from. I’ve made similar remarks back in the days when I envisioned my future children in a perfect light. Before I actually had kids. Before I recognized that one of my children experiences the world quite differently than most. Before a doctor introduced me to the daunting term that starts with an “A.”
You see, it’s easy to pass judgment when you’re outside looking in. All you see is a child fixated on a screen. But what I see is a child who, just that morning, was overwhelmed by the simple task of getting dressed. He finds clothes to be restrictive and uncomfortable, even when they’re two sizes too large. To him, wearing a basic T-shirt can feel like being trapped. So while you see a child engrossed in his phone, I see a child who managed to get dressed today.
You perceive a kid ignoring his family to play games. I see a child who reluctantly participated in family photos at a local park, an activity he despised. He found a tree branch bench to climb, hoping those brief moments of jumping would ease his discomfort. He had to endure sitting still, smiling, and maintaining eye contact, all of which can be quite a challenge. Yet, he did it. So while you see a child ignoring his parents, I see a child who cooperated for a full hour during family pictures.
You notice a child disregarding his food, absorbed in videos. I see a kid who waited patiently for half an hour to be seated at a cramped table, only to be met with disappointment when served a food he couldn’t eat. Sure, linked sausage is technically edible, but it’s new and unfamiliar. He’s hungry, waiting for the comfort of his familiar meals at home. So while you see a kid who isn’t eating, I see a child longing for the food he knows and loves.
You might see a child avoiding social interactions at the table. I see a child doing his best to maintain composure, holding it all together despite the overwhelming stressors around him. Just one of these factors could lead to a meltdown. But he managed to cope. Why? Because those colorful characters on that tiny screen provide enough distraction to keep him from feeling overwhelmed by the tight shirt, his building anxiety, or the rumbles in his hungry stomach.
So next time you spot a child tuned out during a family meal, remember that while your hypothetical kids may be perfect, that child at the next table could be doing a remarkable job of staying calm in a demanding situation. Zoning out might just be his way of coping.
Warmly,
That Kid’s Supportive Mom
For more insights about parenting and navigating these challenges, check out this article on navigating judgmental parenting. If you’re looking for reputable resources for home insemination kits, consider visiting Make a Mom for their excellent products. Additionally, Kindbody offers a wealth of information on pregnancy and home insemination that may be helpful.
In summary, it’s essential to approach parenting with empathy and understanding, particularly when it comes to children who experience the world differently. What appears to be disregard for social norms may often be a coping mechanism, and it’s crucial to recognize the underlying challenges they face.
Leave a Reply