Dear Teen Girls at the Pool,
This isn’t going to be one of those letters where a well-meaning adult tries to tell you how to act or what to wear. You know the type — filled with unsolicited advice about fashion choices or social media habits. Trust me, I’m just as weary of those letters as you are.
You may not remember me, but we crossed paths at the public pool last week. I use the term “crossed paths” loosely since I never caught your names and you didn’t catch mine. I made a deal with my older son: “If you dive off the high board, I’ll do my epic cannonball,” I said. Sounded easy enough, right? But as I climbed the stairs and peered over the edge, the realization hit me — the high dive is REALLY HIGH!
The last time I took a leap from that height, I was only a teenager myself — just a few years older than you. But 20 years can change so much. The board seemed taller now; the fall appeared longer. Suddenly, worries about wardrobe malfunctions and belly flops felt a lot more significant.
One of you turned to me and said, “It always takes me a few tries before I actually jump.” You proceeded to walk to the end of the board, hesitate, and then retreat. You did this a few times, but eventually, you took the plunge. A bit later, you were back in line with your friend, ready for your next turn.
As I stood there, I watched younger kids, around 8 or 9 years old, dive off the board with glee. You cheered each other on, reinforcing that camaraderie I remember from my youth.
When it was my turn again, I stepped onto the board and looked down. Nope, not today! For 20 minutes, I stood on the concrete platform, watching you and the other kids jump, trying to summon the courage to go for it. I reminded myself that I can tackle tough challenges. I’ve faced hard things before. I even thought about how I could model bravery for my kids by trying something new.
As I tried to jump multiple times, you were there, encouraging me. “It’s OK,” one of you said. “I get scared too. But once you jump, it’s kind of fun.” Your friend added, “Just don’t look down. Look at the trees instead.” You even joked that it was like flying. I can’t help but laugh when I think about the song playing in the background — “Free Fallin’” by Tom Petty.
I stepped back on the board, walked halfway down, and then gazed outward at the trees. And then, I looked down. I turned around and stepped off.
“Agh!” the younger kids groaned.
“Not today, kids,” I replied, “Maybe next time.” Just then, one of you locked eyes with me and said with gentle firmness, “You’ll regret it if you leave without jumping.”
“I know,” I whispered, realizing you were right.
Two minutes later, it was my turn again. I walked to the end of the board, focused on the trees, and finally jumped. I could hear the cheers before I hit the water.
“Good job!” you hollered from above.
“Thank you!” I shouted back, genuinely grateful.
A few moments later, you passed by, and I called out, “Thanks, girls!” But you were giggling about something only teenagers seem to find hilarious, and I’m sure you didn’t hear me. I glanced around to see if your parents were close by, but I figured you were old enough to enjoy the pool independently. Soon, my younger son asked for a snack, and by 3 p.m., we had to leave, never to see you again that day.
As I walked to the snack bar, a friend teased me, “I bet you’ll write about jumping off the high dive soon.” I laughed, and as I pondered what to write, you both came to mind.
I could write about overcoming fear and the importance of teaching our kids to be brave. These are vital topics, and I’ve covered them before and will do so again. But what struck me today was the impact of two remarkable teenage girls.
There’s a lot of chatter about teenagers today, especially young girls. We hear complaints about the sexualization of girls by brands selling inappropriate attire and discussions about your fashion choices (Are crop tops and bikinis empowering or scandalous?). There are viral posts shaming middle schoolers for simply flirting at the pool and a collective eye-roll at your love for selfies and social media.
As parents, we aim to instill strength, confidence, and kindness in you. We tell you to be brave and to love yourselves, despite a world that might not always return that love. We want you to grow into strong, capable adults.
Yet, what we often overlook is how much you teach us. You remind us of the value of courage and the importance of taking risks. You show us that fear can be managed with a little support and that mistakes are part of growing up. You embody patience, resilience, and the beauty of second chances.
We strive to be exemplary figures, guiding you from childhood to adulthood. While we may think we possess wisdom from experience, the truth is, we’re all journeying together. You have so much to offer us, whether you’re our daughter, niece, or simply a teen girl we meet at the pool.
So, keep diving into the deep end. Keep being yourselves. Continue to learn and grow.
Because as you do, we’re learning alongside you.
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Summary
This article reflects on a personal experience at the pool where the author learned life lessons from two teenage girls. It emphasizes that, while parents aim to teach their children about bravery and self-worth, teens have much to offer in return. The narrative encourages teens to continue being themselves and taking risks, while parents recognize that learning is a shared journey.
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