“Did you get any compliments on your outfit today, sweetheart?” I asked one sunny afternoon as she hopped into the backseat of my SUV.
“Yeah!” she beamed, her bright eyes sparkling in the rearview mirror. “Lots of people really liked it!”
I returned her smile. She was wearing a once-ordinary oversized mint-green sweater that had been mine, nearly destined for donation until she rescued it. Inspired by a trendy look she spotted on a TV show, she transformed it by adding oversized lips drawn with a black marker, turning it into a chic fashion piece. The sweater was cinched with a wide, stretchy neon belt, and she paired it with snug gray leggings tucked into last year’s stylish combat boots—boots I’d have claimed in a heartbeat if they came in my size. A vibrant floral headband tilted just so across her forehead completed the ensemble.
Emma loves to accessorize—hats, colorful scarves, and her standout prescription glasses with sparkly pink frames. These touches help her shine positively at school, where she’s often been recognized for less favorable reasons.
Diagnosed with ADHD and a mood disorder just before her sixth birthday, Emma has come a long way with treatment. The differences between her and her classmates have become less pronounced. She no longer jumps up from her desk every few minutes or interrupts lessons with off-topic comments. Instead, she raises her hand (most of the time) and is learning to follow directions more effectively.
However, remnants of her past reputation still linger. Some kids still view her as the troublemaker, the one who never listens, or the odd girl.
Though she is intelligent, managing her workload continues to be a challenge, even with additional support at school and a tutor. Organizational issues and difficulties with focus slow her down. She knows it takes her longer than most of her classmates to complete assignments, and she often feels the weight of not being able to keep pace with her peers. Missing out on joining academic clubs like the Math Wizards used to upset me deeply—after all, I was a straight-A student, as was her father. It took time to accept that Emma might not naturally follow in our academic footsteps.
Eventually, I learned to shift my focus away from grades and the pressure of college acceptance. Instead, I concentrated on nurturing her many talents, particularly her incredible creativity. The more she explores this side of herself, the more likely she is to carve her own path to happiness. I see her flourishing when she sings in the school choir, crafts imaginative tales about her adventures on Dreamland Island, or draws her signature vibrant, whimsical creatures. More recently, I’ve noticed her experimenting with self-expression through fashion.
The compliments she receives for her unique outfits have undoubtedly lifted her spirits. While she may not always look forward to school, stepping into her classroom dressed to impress makes the experience slightly easier.
However, living with a budding fashionista comes with its challenges. Emma’s insistence on leaving the house only in the perfect outfit often results in her room resembling a chaotic fashion disaster: piles of rejected clothes clutter the floor, while tops and accessories that didn’t make the cut spill out from her drawers. Her passion for style has also led to more than a few late mornings. Yet, on days when she feels confident in her attire, that little strut she has as she walks to the car makes any inconvenience worthwhile.
As Emma gears up for middle school, she’s cultivating a new identity—one that I hope will empower her through the often tricky tween years. She’s becoming recognized as the girl with the cool clothes, the creative spirit, the one with undeniable style. Those are labels she wears with pride, just like her favorite boots and pink glasses.
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In summary, while the journey of parenting a child with unique needs can be challenging, it’s essential to focus on their strengths and celebrate their individuality. Emma’s blossoming style and creativity are just the beginning of what I hope will be a fulfilling journey for her.
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