You’ve seen that viral video, right? Moms are enjoying a day at the beach with their kids, smiling brightly at the camera, with a message that resonates: “They don’t care about your wobbly stomach or your less-than-perky backside.” The essence of the video is clear—it’s not about how you look; it’s about your presence as their mom. You take the plunge into the water, wearing a swimsuit despite the societal pressures that idolize the unattainable skinny ideal. You are their world. They need you.
When it comes to my trips to the beach, I find a balance by wearing a loose rashguard or opting to stay dry altogether. I recognize that my family doesn’t mind my appearance, so I remind myself that I shouldn’t either. They’re the ones who matter most—my loved ones, whose opinions should hold weight. Yet, the truth is, I still find myself feeling self-conscious about how I look.
My Beach Routine
Here’s my beach routine: I wear a bikini under a relaxed, sleeveless red dress, paired with dark sunglasses and a floppy straw hat. At the last moment, I’ll stand up and suck in my stomach, quickly shedding my hat and dress to slip into a comfortably loose black rashguard. I choose bikini bottoms that tie, so they don’t pinch my hips. Then I dash into the water, submerging myself at least up to my thighs.
The body positivity movement encourages me to embrace my flabby belly, fuller hips, and jiggly thighs. They remind me that all bodies are beautiful, not just the ones splashed across magazine covers. I believe that wholeheartedly. I often look at women who are larger than me and think, “She’s stunning.” I see all kinds of shapes and sizes and recognize their beauty. Just not my own.
Struggling with Self-Acceptance
Why is it so difficult for me to apply this idea of beauty to myself? Perhaps it’s because I was always the “skinny” girl, and my family celebrated that trait, as if it were the only compliment I could receive. Growing up, I clung to being “skinny” like a life preserver while my sister was the one deemed cute with her flowing blonde locks. We all have our own stories of feeling unattractive—those moments when we were told we didn’t measure up, or that we could stand to shed a few pounds. Each of those moments adds up, creating a narrative that can be hard to shake.
I made a meme the other day that said, “How to get bikini-ready: Just wear a bikini.” And I genuinely believe that. I advocate for embracing imperfections, big thighs, and all body types. They’re magnificent. But my own body? Not so much. My stomach has sagged from the weight I gained during my last pregnancy, my thighs are pale and speckled with keratosis pilaris, and my torso is a landscape of creases. Spanx have become my trusty ally. As for my backside? It’s not exactly a showstopper. While I can’t change my thighs, I can hide my other features under a black rashguard, which conceals my stomach and hip overflow. Once I’m in the water, I feel a bit more at ease.
Choosing Joy Over Insecurities
I often face a choice: get my hair wet or hide my body. More often than not, I opt for concealing my body. This way, I can join in the fun with my kids. They love when I pretend to be a dolphin (even if my backside is on full display) or toss them playfully into the waves. My oldest daughter always asks, “Mom, can you throw me?” And even though I might not have the strength of Dad, the joy that comes from their laughter is worth it. It’s crucial for me to engage with them.
Outside of the water, I can still create fun memories while wearing a dress. I can wade with my little one without needing to change, collect seashells, and build impressive sandcastles—all while sitting down. My kids don’t need to see my belly in order to enjoy these moments.
Embracing My Body
Perhaps one day I’ll come to terms with my body. After all, I have a bikini (it’s black, of course). As I age, I’ll inevitably stray further from the teenage ideal, so maybe it’s time to embrace what I have while I can. But right now, that’s easier said than done.
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Summary
Navigating body image as a mom can be a challenge, especially when societal standards pressure us to conform to an unrealistic ideal. While I strive to embrace body positivity, I often find myself grappling with self-acceptance, especially during beach outings. My routine includes strategic clothing choices to hide insecurities, but I prioritize making memories with my kids over worrying about my appearance. As I continue this journey, I hold onto the hope that one day I’ll fully embrace my body as it is.
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