The last thing I wanted to be called at 18 was a conformist. Back in the late ’90s, I was just like every other alternative girl, decked out in chunky boots, hair clips, and floaty dresses. My vibrant hair, colored with shades from Manic Panic, was my badge of uniqueness. Little did I realize, in my quest for individuality, I was blending in with a sea of others trying to stand out.
Fast forward two decades, and my perspective has done a complete turnaround. I’ve embraced the comfort of conformity, and the reason for this shift? Parenthood. Caring for children—feeding, bathing, and spending quality time—takes up a significant portion of my day. My previous passion for deep dives into research has been traded for the simple joy of sleep.
It’s not that I don’t have options. I could spend hours reading reviews or chatting with salespeople about products, but if a friend has already found a reliable booster seat for her kid, why should I go through the hassle of starting from scratch? Before I even bought a stroller, I turned to my friends for recommendations. The orange City Mini? If it worked for them, it would work for me. And when it came to choosing a car, I noticed many of my acquaintances drove Honda CRVs. Guess what? My car is also a Honda CRV. And yes, it’s silver because that’s what everyone else seemed to prefer.
This method of gathering information could be seen as crowdsourcing. A quick Facebook post or a message on a parenting forum yields a flurry of suggestions—it’s incredibly efficient. I find myself buying the same foods my friends do. If your pantry is stocked with Annie’s macaroni and cheese, mine probably is too! My kids play with the same toys, from the towering stacks of Melissa & Doug products to the beloved books by Sandra Boynton.
Of course, what works for one child might not work for another, but as parents, we share the same basic needs—strollers, car seats, clothes, shoes. We exchange advice on what to buy and what to skip (seriously, a wipe warmer?).
I must admit, embracing conformity isn’t just easy; it’s also comforting. The world of parenting is filled with uncertainty and anxiety about whether we’re making the right choices for our kids. By following the proven paths of others, I find a sense of reassurance; at least I know it’s a route that someone has already navigated.
I’m no longer seeking to be a special snowflake. Sure, I express myself—now as a faux redhead rather than the vibrant hues of my youth—but I don’t mind using the same baby walker as a friend. After all, there’s no prize for complicating life.
I never imagined I would come to value conformity, yet here I am, embracing my role as a suburban mom. Fresh out of college, I envisioned a life of adventure and success in New York City. While that dream didn’t pan out exactly as planned, I found something even more rewarding: a loving husband and two wonderful children.
As I’ve matured, my definition of success has transformed. The need for attention has faded; now, my priority is my children’s safety, happiness, and health. Part of that journey involves embracing the collective wisdom of fellow parents.
So yes, I am a conformist, and with each passing day, I find more comfort in that label.
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In summary, navigating parenthood often leads us to embrace conformity, as we prioritize our children’s needs and seek comfort in shared experiences.
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