Let’s face it: the stereotype of moms joking about needing a glass of wine is as classic as yoga pants and coffee runs. However, I genuinely find that a little alcohol helps me navigate the wild ride of motherhood. Sure, I could probably live without those stretchy pants and, maybe even coffee (yikes), but there’s no way I could survive this journey without my trusty bottle of wine.
Trust me, I’ve tried going without, and it was not pretty.
I pour myself a glass after recalling the day when my toddler decided it would be fun to roll away in a shopping cart while I was busy with the baby in the van. Picture this: other parents sprinting to save my little daredevil, zooming towards a busy street. We caught him just in time, but before I could catch my breath, the baby had a blowout—yes, in the car seat. That’s just a slice of what motherhood is like, and it can be downright overwhelming.
I also drink because my mother is fighting cancer, and some days, her voice barely cuts through the chaos of my children’s noise. During one call, I desperately needed to hear her clearly, so I stepped into another room, only to realize my youngest had wandered out, leaving the door wide open. After a frantic search, I found her on the next street, barefoot and in just a diaper. That evening, after calmly putting the kids to bed, I sank into a hot bath, clutching my wine like it was the last lifeline to sanity.
When my husband saw me, he cautiously asked, “Need a refill?” Yes, yes I did.
I drink because boys have this knack for destruction, like whacking the outdoor spigot with a shovel just to see what happens. And when things break, I’m the one calling my husband at work, feeling like I need a serious dose of comfort food to cope with the embarrassment of needing help.
When my oldest gets in trouble and I send him outside to play, he manages to write sweet, but permanent messages like “I LOVE YOU” all over the driveway with spray paint. I’m telling you, someone is always either swallowing a battery or sticking a fork in an outlet. And can we talk about the trampoline? What were we thinking?
Just the other day, I ended up in the ER with one of my kids who was so constipated that even with diligent fiber monitoring, we faced a real crisis. That nurse probably went home and poured herself a drink, too.
While cleaning out our van, I uncovered bubblegum stuffed into the headrest hole, sandwich crusts petrifying between the seats, and peanut butter smeared on forgotten toys. Honestly, just glancing at that mess makes me want a drink. It’s so bad that I can’t bear to take it to a car wash, so I just keep driving it. After all, I’m a mom, and crushed goldfish don’t stop me.
Today I hit the grocery store, and while my kids were relatively well-behaved, my toddler was yanking at the shopping list, my middle child was meowing like a cat, and my oldest was peppering me with questions. I just needed a moment to think! So, I hurriedly loaded up on essentials and grabbed a box of wine on my way to the register.
As the cashier scanned my wine, she recognized the look of a fellow mom, and with a knowing smile, she handed me the box and said, “Girl…you need this.” And let me tell you, I really did.
For more relatable stories from the motherhood trenches, check out this post on parenting challenges. If you’re considering home insemination, you can find reliable kits at Make a Mom, and learn more about fertility from the CDC.
In summary, motherhood is a chaotic, messy journey that often leaves us needing a little something to take the edge off. Whether it’s a glass of wine after a long day or a good laugh with fellow moms, it’s important to find those moments of relief.
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