“How’s it going?” my friend Amanda asks, her voice traveling through the phone from 1,800 miles away. “I’m good!” I reply, adding, “Just busy, but good.”
This response has become my standard reply. For many of us, it’s a familiar ritual, right? A quick “Fine,” or “Good,” or “Great.” It’s not that I’m lying — I genuinely feel good most of the time, at least on the surface. I’m not facing any major crisis or contemplating drastic measures. Life is generally pleasant; I practice gratitude and appreciate the little things.
But let’s be real—“good” is such a vague term. What does it truly convey? Does it signify just okay? Or maybe it implies something fantastic? It’s essentially a polite way to sidestep deeper inquiries, allowing us to move on to more comfortable subjects.
What would happen if we were to respond to that “How are you?” question with total honesty? When I say, “I’m good,” there’s a whirlwind of emotions swirling inside me. Here’s a glimpse of what I might actually be feeling:
- I’m so exhausted that I’m contemplating the logistics of an IV coffee drip.
- If I hear one more whine about dinner, I might just lose it.
- I live with the constant fear that I’m ruining my kids.
- I feel like I’m juggling five glass balls, and no one ever taught me how.
- My love for my children is so profound that it sometimes feels overwhelming.
- I worry about everything — from my kids to work to my cat who seems to have forgotten where to pee.
- I occasionally shed tears in the shower.
- I’m in a perpetual state of wonder as I watch my kids growing up.
- Some nights, I sleep like a rock, while on others, I feel crushed beneath the weight of motherhood.
- I adore my children more than anything, yet I fantasize about escaping.
- I’m trying to balance being a wife, mother, sister, daughter, employee, artist, citizen, and individual all at once.
- At times, I barely recognize the person I used to be and I miss her.
- The thought of my children growing up tugs violently at my heart.
Even during moments of happiness, there’s a current of complex emotions running just beneath the surface of motherhood. There’s worry, exhaustion, profound love, and conflicting desires all swirling around. Sometimes these feelings bubble up, often in the shower, while other times they erupt unexpectedly after the kids are tucked in for the night. Nonetheless, this emotional river flows through me, always present.
Should we share these feelings openly? I believe we should, at least with close friends and fellow moms. We’re all grappling with similar emotions and uncertainties. If we don’t express our truths, we risk feeling isolated in our struggles.
But do people genuinely want to hear the full story? That’s hard to say. All I know is that “I’m good” doesn’t cut it. Perhaps next time a friend asks about my well-being, I can simply say, “I’m a mom,” and let that speak volumes. For anyone navigating the waters of motherhood, that phrase encapsulates it all.
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Summary
The article explores the complexities of motherhood and the often superficial responses we give when asked how we are. It highlights the myriad emotions that exist beneath the surface of a simple “I’m good,” advocating for more honesty in our conversations, particularly among fellow mothers.
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