“Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!” This iconic line from The Godfather: Part III perfectly encapsulates my journey as a parent. Just as Michael Corleone finds himself unable to escape the mob life, I feel trapped in the never-ending cycle of parenting challenges (and don’t even get me started about having a third child—I’ve got my hands full with two!).
Before becoming a dad, I was absolutely terrified of the thought of caring for a newborn. Once I got the hang of that, my anxiety shifted to the toddler years. Just when I thought I was navigating the “terrible twos,” I was thrown into the chaos of threes, which seamlessly transitioned into the “f***-you fours.” Do you see the pattern here? The parenting rollercoaster never really stops.
Now, my son is 5 ½, and while I can’t quite label this current phase, I certainly know that the words I’d use to describe his behavior wouldn’t be suitable for polite company. He has the cognitive and verbal skills of a young human, yet he still struggles with the emotional regulation typical of toddlers. They say to take the good with the bad, but why must we also endure the worse and the downright ugly?
Just a few weeks ago, I tried to get my son ready for school. In a moment of poor judgment, I asked him to get dressed before breakfast because we were running late. Instead of a simple “yes” or “no thanks,” he threw himself on the ground, howling like he’d just lost a game of chance. I made him a bagel—his go-to breakfast (which I define as something he’ll eat after some initial complaints)—and left to shower. When I returned, I asked if he had eaten it, and he casually informed me, “I put it in the garbage.” Sure enough, there it was, sitting on top of the trash, right next to the remnants of my hopes for smoother parenting ahead.
That’s the crux of parenting: the elusive “easy” stage seems like a myth. Every developmental phase introduces new challenges. For every exciting milestone my child reaches, there are also a host of problems that come with it. It’s a constant cycle of progress and regression.
I’ve transitioned from sleepless nights and diaper changes to battling potty training, managing wandering kids, and now, dealing with endless tantrums and whining. Honestly, I feel stuck in this “tantrum and whining” loop. My son is nearly six, so when can I expect him to start acting more mature? (Meanwhile, I’m approaching 40 and still have my own meltdowns over parenting, so maybe the answer is never!)
As parents, we often find ourselves complaining about one stage while secretly longing to return to the previous one, because let’s face it, the new phase can be even tougher. The more things change, the more they remain the same.
We wish for our kids to walk and talk—until they wander into dangerous situations and start talking back. We hope for their independence, only to find out they can now decipher our not-so-secret code. Contrary to popular belief, as kids grow older, they don’t necessarily become easier; they just become more clever and defiant. Their skills can outpace their emotional understanding, and if my childhood memories serve me right, this doesn’t improve until well past the teenage years.
The wise approach here would be to cherish each phase rather than wishing them away. Every stage, despite its inherent stress, brings moments of wonder and joy. Yet, it’s hard to appreciate the joy when my 5 ½-year-old is throwing a fit over dessert being off-limits until after dinner.
It’s a tricky balance of “be careful what you wish for,” but I’m more than willing to roll the dice on the next phase if it means these absurd tantrums will finally phase out! For more insights, check out this post on Cervical Insemination.
In summary, tantrums are a part of the parenting journey that persists long after the toddler years. As children grow, their challenges evolve, often leading to more complex issues. While it’s tempting to long for simpler times, each phase has its own joys and trials that shape our parenting experience.
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